What Was Is
by Scottea
Summary: Kirk is kidnapped, realizes a mistake, and fights with McCoy and Spock to find a way to save themselves from themselves.
1. Chapter 1

The slaver had laughed as he rubbed warm scented oil all over James Kirk, "I have a special buyer for you, one who says he has a weapon of immeasurable power. I have agreed for him to see you, for him to show me his weapon, but he knows that I will see what else I am bid for you before I decide." Kirk had moved slightly as the fingers expertly rubbed between his legs and the slaver had laughed all the more, "You still do not like being touched, that will please whoever does buy you as so many pleasure slaves simply yield. You learned obedience quickly yet you still show some spirit."

Quickly and painfully, Kirk thought. As a way of trying to ignore how the slaver was fondling him, of willing his body not to react, James Kirk made himself think back and remind himself of who he was and how it happed. He was James Tiberus Kirk, Captain of the Federation of Planets' starship Enterprise. They had been in orbit around Rakotow, a neutral planet, awaiting orders as they had delivered the equipment that was supplied annually for their neutrality. Rakotow had been an interesting planet and, eight days ago, he had decided to do some exploring on his own while First Officer Spock and Doctor Leonard McCoy busied themselves getting some supplies. He had not been worried as they all had subcutaneous transponders injected prior to leaving the ship and agreed on a set time to meet. They had been on worse planets and on their own, so he had not expected any serious trouble. He could vaguely remember two men following him and then two men walking towards him, reaching for his communicator, then nothing.

Not quite nothing. For some time he seemed to be trapped in a nightmare. A nightmare he could not wake from yet none of it seemed real as he could not move nor speak while things were done to him and around him in a medical room. It had only seemed a nightmare. His captors had kept him drugged. Vague memories of being stripped, hung by his wrists, hands poking and prodding him, laughter, his ankles and wrists bound and being tossed around, being thrown into some container with other beings, being hung by his wrists again with more hands poking and prodding him and more laughter. Different things poured into his mouth. Hands fondling him and laughter when he reacted. Being on his hands and knees and being abused. It seemed to go on for days with hands forcing him to drink foul tasting liquid once a day that seemed to weaken him. Then the medical room and the pain.

He had finally fully had woken in a small room, sitting in a chair, naked, with his arms secured over the back of the chair, his legs secured to the legs of the chair, his knees held apart by a rod, and a man dressed in fine clothes standing over him, "You are to forget who and what you were before. That is over. Forget it and all you knew. No matter who or what you were in your last life your name now is Mutt and you are going to make an excellent pleasure slave. From today until you die you are just a pleasure slave on Tanop, what you were before does not matter, all that is important is that you please your masters. Your former colleagues will not find you as the transponder has been removed and inserted into one of our local small underground rodents. When I saw the collection of what was brought from Rakotow I knew I had to have you as you were the only one with the potential to make a good pleasure slave. I had you checked and nobody had raped you, so your new master will be the first to mount you, to really claim you"

The slaver had laughed, "I have already have a request for one like you. The interested party says he has a weapon that will give me great power and control. He has asked that until he has seen you and I decide if I accept this weapon that you not be sexually abused. He proved to me he has ways to see if a slave has been abused so all I can do it toy with you till after I have seen what he has to offer. I would so like to see you highly aroused and to control that arousal but if his weapon does what he claims I will have more pleasure slaves to enjoy and on-sell when I tire of them. Your potential owner also pointed out to me your being unmounted will help to fetch a good price, the one asking for one like you made me see that wisdom and I said till he saw if you were what he wanted you would not be mounted. The others I bought along with you will make good slaves but there is something about you that speaks of sensual and sexual pleasures for your masters. You will bring your new master such delight."

He had tried to speak but the slaver had grabbed him by his hair, shaken his head and laughed, "Till you get used to your new station and role in life you will be given a drink at the same each day for three standard days that numbs your vocal cords for up to ten days. It saves wasting time. Nothing a slave has to say is of any value. Some masters allow their slaves to speak but most keep their slaves silent with a weekly stronger dose. You will learn to obey and to allow anything to be done to and with you by any Tanopian who holds your controller. There is no reward for obedience but punishment is swift and painful." The slaver had kept looking at him as he had reached down, fingering to top of the loincloth, the only clothing Kirk had on, and Kirk had tried to move. Suddenly there was excruciating pain radiating from his brain and his rectum. "You will obey." The pain eased and the slaver had held up a small device, "This works on your implants and assures me you will obey, it gives me control over you. Disobedience will be punished." He again stroked his hand down over Kirk's abdomen and laughed as Kirk again tried to move, "Oh, you will obey in the end." this time the pain continued till he blacked out.

Several times over the next few days he had been punished for any number of trivial things and the slaver had always found it amusing when he would try not to show the pain, when he tried to move away from the stimulation or pain, and when he would voicelessly scream in agony. Always the slaver would make him crawl back to him after punishment, would pat him on the head and tell him how well his training was progressing, how more obedient he was becoming.

The control device was small and allowed the Tanopians to increase the intensity and duration of the pain at will. It had a specific frequency attuned to the implants they had put in him while he had been unconscious. There were four; one at on the roof of his mouth, one in each nostril, and one well into his rectum. How the slaver had enjoyed testing the frequency when he had been semi-conscious and thought it still a nightmare. Now he stood as the slaver prepared him for showing to buyers. Although he had often been shown to other Tanopians when they visited the slaver and the slaver had delighted in watching his reaction to them touching him, admiring him, inspecting him, Kirk knew that the worst was yet to come.

He had no name other than Slave or Mutt. While the slaver had been content to simply toy with him, to humiliate him, he knew when he was sold as a pleasure slave that would change. How often he had seen slavery on other planets in various forms and knew what was done to and with slaves. The slaver had taken great delight in taking him to shows where he saw how other pleasure slaves were used, what they were made to do and what they had done to them to please their masters. Several times the slaver had lead him across a show floor and let others see him and examine him.

"His owner will have the honour of being the first to really enjoy him, I am saving that joy for him. His new owner will be the one to mount and truly claim him. Such a slave deserves a masterful master who knows how to mount and enjoy fully such a magnificent thing."

He found he was worried about his Vulcan First Officer and what he would be sensing through the bond. He felt ashamed that in the agony of punishment he had called out for Spock when there was no way his friend would know where he was. And should the Vulcan somehow find him, how would he react seeing him like this?

No, he tried not to think of that nor that he had no idea where the Enterprise was. He was certain they would be looking for him but would they know where to look? It had been eight days. There were eleven inhabited planets in the same solar system as Rakatow and with the transponder not destroyed they would have beamed up the rodent with no idea where he was. He just knew that when he was sold in the morning his life would be a living hell. Secured to wall of the slaver's room by the leash and his hands secured behind his back Kirk watched the man sleep. A part of his brain wondered what sort of being had been so kind as to order him not to be molested now yet evil enough to have a weapon that would give the slaver more power.

Before they left the room the slaver had made him swallow the thick liquid that kept him mute. It seemed thicker than usual and the slaver had laughed as he had stroked his throat to make him swallow foul thick liquid and wiped his face again with an oily cloth, "That will not only numb your vocal cords for eight standard days but will also shortly purge your systems. This way your new owner can enjoy you as soon as you are his without protest. Many new owners like their pleasure slaves to start filling their purpose in life as soon as they are purchased." The slaver smiled as he had watched how Kirk physically reacted by contorting as the liquid coursed through him, seeming to burn as it scoured out his digestive tract and flushed out his urinary system. When Kirk had emptied his urinary tract and evacuated his digestive tract the slaver laughed as he got behind Kirk and firmly pressed as he massaged and kneaded Kirk's stomach and Kirk had groaned, "Good, all cleared out. Now you can give your new owner hours of pleasure without delay." Roughly the slaver pushed him so he bend over, allowing the slaver to again clean him and rub oil on him, chortling with pleasure as he moaned and squirmed, "You are a unique pleasure slave and are ready now to immediately unbelievably please your new owner. Stand still now." The slaver put a different colored and textured loincloth on his and a new collar on him, one Kirk knew would be on him for life, one with the registration number of the controller.

He walked behind the slaver into a large hall where other naked beings were being examined by prospective buyers while their slavers stood nearby extolling their virtues. As they walked through the throng of potential buyers the slaver would occasionally stop and allow whoever he was talking with to examine him and say that he was worth the reserve price. Over in a nook the slaver indicated he was to stand on a raised platform with his arms out, his legs apart, and slowly turning around, "They must be able see what they are getting. Should the weapon not be what he said they will see all of you and be able to fully examine you."

As he looked around Kirk saw evidence that the sales was broadcast and he wondered who would be watching. He had no idea where Tanop was in relation to where the Enterprise last was, but he was sure it was in the same system as Rakatow. He knew that on Rakotow nobody would say anything that might stop their lucrative side industry. It was a neutral planet and a law unto themselves. There had been rumours of people going missing but the people of Rakotow pointed out how easily their many beautiful wilderness areas at could prove fatal unless those going there knew their way or were very experienced in survival skills.

Several Tanopians came over and looked at him, examined him, laughing as they saw how being touched in some areas caused him discomfort, and left their bids with the smiling slaver.

"I see you do have the one I want." a very rough and solid looking man walked over to where he stood and just stood looking at him. "Is he unharmed?"

"I told you that I would only obedience train him and would have him ready to give you pleasure. Examine him if you please. You were right in telling me more would be interested in him if he had no markings and had not been broken in."

"Slave, get down and turn around." momentarily Kirk stood still till he saw the controller in the slaver's hand, then he got off the platform and stood with his back to them. "Good." a hand rubbed slowly down his back and stopped when he winced as it reached his pelvis, "What is his name?"

"I just call him Slave; you can give him any name you like. I can tell you have a good eye for form and there are no flaws in his. I will have him bend so,"

"No," the man walked around to stand before him, a hand, oddly light in its touch, touched his chin and tilted his head back, light brown eyes looking up his nose, fingers forcing his mouth open and a finger inserted, probing, "He has the control,"

"They are fully operational though he has not been punished in over a day." The slaver smiled, "He learns quickly and is most obedient."

"He has not been mounted?"

"No, I told you I would see to it that did not happen until after I had seen what you had. Although I am sure such a fine specimen has had experience in pleasuring others I have not enjoyed him in any way like that. We agreed."

The stranger reached out and put his hand on the loincloth and Kirk saw the way he was looking at him, studying him as he slid his hands down the sides of the loincloth then nodded, "It is good he was not abused"

"You have what we discussed?"

"You will have other offers for him but none will have the weapon I have." On the table the man placed a small rectangular object that looked like an enlarged phaser. He handed the slaver a set of earplugs and said, "Put these in your ears but pretend to be scratching your ears when you do it.", he reached out and put some in Kirk's ears before putting some in his own and briefly pulling the trigger on the phaser.

All the beings in the hall collapsed as if pole-axed. There was no denying the amazement on the slaver's face as the man held out the weapon to him and indicated they could remove the ear plugs, "They will be unconscious for up to twenty-six minutes, with it on maximum it can be up to three standard hours." The man looked at Kirk and then back at the slaver, "With a weapon like that think how many slaves you could get at Rakotow. When they wake they will have no memory of what happened other than falling and you will have them under control. The ones here will think the nook kept us immune."

"In three standard hours I could have control devices in six, no, eight," the slaver smiled as he fingered the weapon. "Such a weapon,"

With a very dramatic move the man took it back and looked at Kirk then back at the slaver, "It needs to be recharged after each use but has a radius of twenty-four metres. There is no reason it could not be used on or in a vessel. I will take it with me and come back after you have talked with other buyers. If you sell him I am sure to find another but I had seen him before and thought him worth the weapon. You may decide that keeping him or selling him to another suits you better. I would be disappointed not to get him but I am sure there is a ready market among the other traders here for,"

"No, no need to look further. I feel you would make an excellent master for this one," the slaver looked from the weapon to the man, "I would like to know why would want this one so much."

"I know of one who looks very much like this one from years ago when he treated me as property. As he is no longer around I want to have one like him so it will know what it feels like to be property." The man had looked at Kirk and the Captain of the Enterprise suddenly had a feeling he should know this man, he looked familiar, but he could not remember him and he was sure he would remember a man built like him and as cold and cunning as the one wanting to use him in place of another.

Even as he watched him Kirk saw how the man kept flexing the fingers of his left hand as though eager to get his hands on the controller and also how very securely he held the weapon in his other hand. "I made what he saw as a gross error and he treated me like property." he looked down at the phaser in his hand, "This is my property but that," he pointed at Kirk, "will be my property."

"Oh, you want him, such a magnificent pleasure slave for revenge? Surely,"

"Does he not shy from your touch already? Does he not try to prevent you from you having your hands on him?"

The slaver laughed, "Yes, yes, he has the spirit."

"That kind of spirit can be broken in time. What I have planned for him will not destroy him like that."

"Now I understand," the slaver nodded, "You are such a cunning, devious and clearly creative man. The one he is like treated you like property so you will use him, enjoy him and just treat him like property."

"He will be mine." there was no doubting the man's tone or words and Kirk did not want to even remotely speculate on what his life would be with this man.

Kirk saw the slaver look at him, felt his hand on his stomach and how it started to slide downward, "I will miss this one as he was so,"

The obscene hand was pulled off him, "If he is mine I want nobody else to touch him." there was pause and Kirk saw the slaver's face grimace as the hand holding his tightened. "Nobody touches my property."

The slaver walked over to a recording device and recorded thesale then looked at the man now holding the leash. "He is yours. All of Tanop and Rakotow know he is your property now and will do nothing to interfere with your full enjoyment of him. Enjoy him for as long as he pleases you." He looked at the weapon he now held as he walked back to where they had remained, "And when they wake they will not know it is this weapon?"

"That is what is so good about it, it looks harmless." the man handed Kirk a robe but the slaver laughed and started to stop him from putting it on but the man said, "Nobody else sees or touches that which is now mine unless I allow it."

"I only want him to remember that I taught him obedience. I want him to remember who put his controls in him. And I want him to remember the pleasure I got from causing and watching his punishment." There was a series of waves of pain and three times he had voicelessly screamed out for that one person to help him. The slaver had laughed as he had Kirk writhe three times in agony before the fourth wave of pain possessed his whole being and he willed his mind to find that one safe place before darkness took him.


	2. Chapter 2

The Captain of the Enterprise woke on a cot in a small hotel room not unlike the one the slaver had rented. There were the shackles fixed to the wall, the slot for recharging the control device. The control device was not there and that had meant only one thing.

"I need you to roll over onto your stomach with your legs apart." a damp cloth wiped over his face and he looked up at the man, "I need you to lay on your stomach with your legs apart and I need you to relax." Comprehension dawned. The slaver had been telling the truth. He was going to be used as the slaver predicted. The man had just waited till they were alone and had not used him as so many of the other new owners had done with their newly acquired slaves while in the hall where all could see their mastery. Kirk saw the control device still in the man's hands and obeyed. "Good, now just relax." The hands on his buttocks, not kneading them as the slaver had done, pulled them gently apart, "Relax." For just an instant there was pain, pain worse than before and Kirk twisted, trying to escape it, he had lost the will to even scream, he resolved not to let his Vulcan friend hear him call out again for help that would not come, he only wanted to be away from the pain, then nothing.

When he woke he was still on the cot, on his back, and the man was sitting beside him. "We have to stay on Tanop till tomorrow night when I get a craft. If they saw they will know where to be. My brew will be ready then." A mild panic seized Kirk as he realized the man was quite mad. "If they saw they will know where to be. Act the part. They will be there. Must be the part. Only good for one firing. Not long."

Twice the next day they saw the slaver as he prepared for a return visit to Rakotow with his new weapon. The man had held up the control device and they had both laughed at how he had cowered. His body had not fully recovered from the punishment the slaver had dealt him as a reminder nor from the treatment the man had given him, but at least he was covered by a robe. As they walked around he saw some Klingons and Romulans looking at him and the man had been stopped by two groups of both who wanted to inspect Kirk but the man had stood between them and said simply, "This is my slave, not something for the public to enjoy. Should you doubt who and what he is I will be pleased to show him to your senior officers aboard the craft EZOVER which I have purchased. Have them contact me."

On the walk to the craft the man had bought some citrus fruit, water, and salt that Kirk had obediently carried without being told to. Obedience. The slaver and the control device had taught him obedience was not punished. The craft had been small, about three-quarters the size of a shuttle craft and clearly designed for short distance flights only. The interior had two seats at the control panel, a standard cabin chair, and a drop-down cot. The man had him lay down on the cot, "I need you ready for my visitors." the control device was still in his hand and Kirk obeyed. "On you stomach with legs apart," a rag was placed in his mouth, "Bite on this if you have to." This time the hands knew their work and he felt the pain start as it had before only this time it did not stop and it seemed to go into every cell of his body. "Okay, now I'm ready, relax." Kirk arched his body as pain radiating from his rectum dominated all else. His body still ached from the abuse that the slaver had caused and the pain the man had caused and this was too much. Kirk let the darkness claim him.

A hand on his shoulder jolted him hack to full wakefulness. "We left Tanop over ten standard hours ago and we already have some company. For now they are leaving us alone but I better tend to you before I deal with them." He pointed to a chair. "Go sit on it." Remembering punishment and still not knowing what the man was going to do, Kirk slowly got off the cot, his bare feet touching something that had been thrown on the strangely wet floor, and sat on the chair, only to have the man secure him tightly to it before standing over him, tilting his head back, "Now, I had to do that as I am going to hurt you again and need you to stay still. Just keep looking at me and do not think of anything else. Keep looking at me."

From the corner of his eye Kirk saw the man had something in his hand as he moved it towards him, the hand holding his chin tightened, "I said just look at me. That's better, keeping looking at me. Just look at me." The light brown eyes never left his and were the last thing he remembered seeing as the second wave of pain enveloped him and he had a feeling of gagging as fingers went into his mouth.

He woke back on the cot and wondered if there were some part of his body that didn't hurt. Obviously the man had used him while he was unconscious. With hate and loathing he looked at the man. For no reason he had been tortured three times by this man who claimed him. There was such cruelty yet Kirk had sensed a kindness. The slaver had always made him crawl to him in submission after punishment for the slightest error but this man had tortured him three times for no real reason but had not punished him. The slaver had taken delight in humiliating him, in treating like line a pet, in enjoying showing him how controlled and helpless he was while this man had only ordered him to do a few simple things four times and yet had tortured him three times for no reason. He ached in so many more places he cursed the man for his sadistic acts.

There was a strange yet familiar taste in his mouth yet the same numbness and there seemed to be a lingering aroma of citrus fruit in the air yet he could see no flowers nor fruit around. When he tried to roll over there was a strange pain in his rectum. He glared at the man and cursed him, damning him, willing a life of hellish pain on him for what he had obviously done to him.

When the man turned around he was holding the control device and Kirk felt fear starting to build in him. The man was going to show his control: having shown he knew how to torture he would now show his control. Obviously taking his pleasures on an unresponsive slave was not fun. Looking at the control he realized he was still a slave. The slaver had again been right, his past life was over. The acts of kindness had been a ruse, lulling him into almost a feeling of security, giving him a moment of hope. There was no way the Enterprise would not find him now. No transponder. No way of knowing where he was. No way of knowing what his new owner was going to do to and with him. No way to communicate. Now his new owner was going to dominate him and was just showing him the instrument of control to remind him of his role. It was all some sick game.

Slowly the man held out the device to Kirk, and, as Kirk touched it, he pressed button that usually initiated the pain. Nothing. Then he held out four odd shaped devices and Kirk remembered seeing the larger one when he first woke on the bed. It had been beside the bed as though thrown there in disgust. Not wanting to believe what he thought they were he looked at the man who nodded as he let Kirk take the control device.

"No way were they going to use those on you," the man looked at Kirk and for a moment Kirk knew the man knew him but there was something there stopping him for using his name, "Mutt. I apologise for not stopping him that last time but it had to be done. The role. You just go back to sleep. You obviously haven't had some in a time. The Klingons will be coming over to see you." deep inside him Kirk was aware of fear, the man was going to give him to the Klingons. "They think you are that legendary Captain Kirk of the Enterprise and would not accept when I told them you aren't. Knowing they have people who are able to find out things for them I said if they thought I would help Kirk they should check what officers he has simply handed over to the authorities over the years. They had it confirmed. You need to sleep."

Kirk slowly went to the small cubicle of a bathroom then walked back to the cot and stretched out. As he stretched out he felt something odd on the bed and looked down, the collar. It had clearly been cut off him while he had slept. He looked over at the man sitting at the controls of the craft. He did not need sleep, he needed to think. An officer? One he had simply handed over to the authorities? All of the ones he had handed over to the authorities had warranted being handed over to be the authorities, there was not one who, natural sleep claimed him.

In a dream he thought he heard Klingons, he even thought some had gripped his hair and shaken his head, had removed the blanket that covered him, but he was sure it was another drug induced dream. He had had so many drug-induced night-mares while with the slaver, so many that seemed just as real and a few that were real. He even dreamed he had heard the Klingon speak standard.

"This is not Kirk. This human looks like him but this one is weak and has no pride. Kirk would die rather than be a pleasure slave kept like this. The drink you gave us was most pleasant."

"Just something I make from time to time. I have six spare bottles you can take with you."

"You want nothing?"

"No. I now have my amusement for the long trip I have ahead. I shall do to and with him what I need for pleasure and entertainment,"

"If this is how you would treat one who looks like Kirk the real Kirk should fear you as he fears us." the Klingon leader had laughed.

"May you die a warrior."

"May your enemies always fear you, even in death."


	3. Chapter 3

The First Officer of the Enterprise paced restlessly in his quarters and the Chief Medical Officer looked at him worriedly. Eight times after Jim had failed to return he had caught the Vulcan when he had swayed and whispered Jim's name. There had been concern in the dark eyes when they had transported up a rather large rodent with Kirk's transponder crudely injected into it.

He had seen how the Vulcan had reacted when they had seen part of a broadcast, from one of the six inhabited planets, showing James Kirk wearing just a loincloth being sold as a slave. Only for an instant, and only because he knew the Vulcan so well, had there been a flicker of emotions, of rage and determination, before that Vulcan mask was back in place. It was tearing him apart not to be able to send down landing parties to look for Kirk. When they had reported him as missing Starfleet had reminded them of how vital keeping this solar system neutral was, how no action was to be taken.

Finally the Doctor could stand the pacing and silence no longer, "Jim has clearly been drugged. The small mark on his arm showed that it was no medical person who removed the transponder. It is impossible yet I keep thinking how much that man who bought him looked like Officer Ken Hannet but, as far as I know, he is still in the secure medical facility and he also was not the sort to use weapons as he hated them, often said they were not necessary."

"The man did bear some resemblance to him but, as I recall Hannet was more inclined to be still, he was not one to show his emotions so openly, and he respected another being's personal being. The weapon was impressive and I am certain that many would want such a weapon having seen that demonstration. There is something that I am missing, there is something more."

"Would want? Don't you mean will want? It exists, Spock, so,"

"An aural stunning weapon of that size and with that amount of power is not physically possible, Doctor."

"But we saw it, man. Dammit, we saw it working."

"Which brings me back to the fact that there was more, Doctor. While I have studied the tape five times I feel that I musts have missed something."

"Spock, we have all watched that broadcast and there was nothing. Jim looked unharmed, unrestrained, and alert."

"Yes, and he obviously had an implant controlling device as the slaver was holding a small box at all times and Jim kept looking at it with trepidation. But there was something else."

"For all we know he could have been taken out of the system by any one of the ships that have left." He looked at the Vulcan and took a deep breath, "I've not seen you," he sighed, stood, walked over and took hold of Spock's upper arms and held them till the Vulcan looked at him, "You've not been aware of the link for nearly two days now, have you? Not since you collapsed in the turbolift."

The Vulcan looked into the deep blue eyes and saw the truth, the last awareness he had of Jim's presence was two point eight one days ago when he had been on the Bridge and Jim had cried out to him in agony four times, each time worse than before. Lieutenant Uhura had seen he was in difficulty and discretely summoned McCoy and had taken the Conn when he stood up. To those who did not know the bridge crew it would seem that they had talked about it ahead of time , it went so smoothly, till he got into the turbolift and had totally collapsed into McCoy's arms as Jim screamed out for him that moment before the numb silence started. "You are correct, Doctor, I cannot feel him in the link yet I cannot believe he is dead. It is a numb silence, not a severance as his death would cause. He may be in a coma,"

"Spock, this is me you are talking to. Now I don't understand that link you two have but I know you both have told me you can tell if the other is sleeping, in a coma or otherwise. You don't even have that, do you?"

All the Vulcan could do was mutely look at the Doctor. "I'm not going to believe he is dead, either Spock, not till I see his body myself, but we have to accept,"

This time the Vulcan shook his head and McCoy released his hold. "Before the silence I was aware of a sense of puzzlement, of Jim trying to remember somebody who was with him. I have checked on the known location of all those who have been handed over to the authorities and they are all accounted for. I am sure that the bond still exists, that Jim is still alive, as the severance of a bond by the death of one leaves the other mentally and physically traumatised for days, if not for life, and I am neither."

The cabin buzzer announced somebody waiting and Spock merely said, "Come."

Lieutenant Uhura walked in and looked at her distraught friends. For a moment she paused. They were already looking at her with uncertainty and she knew they would think she was crazy and perhaps she was but she knew at her core who the man lhad bought the Captain was although all reason told her it could not be. It had been something she had seen yet had not believed as they had seen the Captain sold as a pleasure slave. The man who bought him looked like a stranger yet she knew it was him. He had talked to her just as an old shipmate used to do. She realized they were both looking at her and she looked at Spock, "I, I think I know. No, I who has the Captain and I think I know where they will be, but I am not positive as I do not know the significance of the word Createaten."

An eyebrow arched as the Vulcan looked at McCoy, "An experimental drug Starfleet trialed and ruled against its use other than in extreme cases and emergencies for a very restricted time because of its prolonged side-effects in humans, its excessively high mortality rate after treatment of those who were on it for more than three continuous days."

McCoy just looked at Uhura and saw what he feared, "You sure of that word? It was definitely Createaten?"

"That was the word, Doctor."

"Ohmigawd. Uhura, get me the Chief Medical Officer at Starfleet Medical and Scientific Facility Four."

"Sir, he,"

"If he is not there just get me somebody in authority."

"It will take a bit of,"

"Uhura, I need to talk with them, now."

It was most unlike McCoy to be so abrupt but at Spock's nod Uhura soon had the Chief Medical Records Officer at Starfleet Medical and Scientific Facility Four, "Loren here. What's the problem, Doctor McCoy?"

"Just got to thinking about Officer Colin Hannet and wondered if you knew where he is and how he is doing."

"He was here. You obviously haven't checked your mail lately. You had left a request to be advised of any change in his status. It is all that people here are talking about. A standard week ago he got through the security system. He not only got through our security system but took a craft, and left authorisation to take whatever pay he might be entitled to to pay for the use of the craft. Sorry to hear about your captain. We'd heard Kirk was missing in the Rakatow area but that was all. It is known what happens to those who go missing there."

"Did," McCoy glanced at Spock, "did Hannet happen to hear about Kirk?"

"I'll just check on his notes. Let me just. Yes. Odd, the notes indicate he reacted to hearing Kirk's name but, but, well, he is in, and has been for over two years, no condition to really be able to know who Kirk is or was nor what is going on. The, the testing you know."

The Vulcan First Officer saw a shadow of disgust cross McCoy's face, "I know. Thanks for letting me know."

"Before you go and strictly off the record I am an exoskeletal specialist as well as Chief Medical Records Officer here, and, as one specialist to another, I think Hannet has found a way to commit suicide and make it look like an accident."

"That does not sound like the Hannet I had as a patient."

"He would not have been the man you knew. He has been on an extremely high dosage of a medication daily since the day after he arrived and he would not have survived more than two days, at the most, now without it. I doubt if he's aware of it but I feel if he were as aware as he seems from this action, and based on what I've read about the man, he is the sort of man who would prefer death to how he was being kept or maintained as they called it. Perhaps he was aware enough to know he wanted to die in space."

"Maintained?" McCoy had half-whispered, almost spat, the word and the Vulcan saw rage, a primal rage, building in him.

"The others, who have the authority over him, claim they need to do more testing and keep him on the high dosage his body now needs and tolerates. Signing that release for him to come here, worded the way it was, was totally irresponsible. Anybody could see all he needed was time alone and sleep: that was clear from his records and I did see him the day he was admitted. His only delusions, again off the record, seemed to have been loyalty to fellow crewmen taken to the extreme. Those release papers damned him to being used in ways you can't imagine and nobody could prevent as his commanding officer had given them the papers assigning him for, what was it that was written, ahhh, here it is, 'whatever specialist treatment and thorough mental and physical rehabilitation is necessary to eradicate irrational delusions of infallibility'. We have some scientists," the word was almost spat out, "here who, well who are more interested in testing their theories than treating patients That gave them licence to use him as they have, knowing they have the signed authorization to do so. I really believe he went out to commit suicide as I often heard him begging them, begging them, to stop giving him the medication, just to stop. They totally ignored him."

"This medication wouldn't be Createaten, would it?"

There was a long pause then, "I pointed out to them that to have given it to him in the first place as wrong. I was told, in no uncertain terms that what happened to him was not my concern. They informed me that they had signed authority from Captain James T. Kirk, his commanding officer, to treat him as they wanted to and to mind my own business. They showed me the papers. Damn the man! The way Kirk put it they have the authority to do what they want with Officer Hannet for as long as they want with nobody to answer to. They could and would justsify what they were doing as research."

Spock could tell from how he was gripping the edge of the desk that McCoy was only just managing to say calm, "When, when did they start giving him the Createaten and before he left how many times a week were they giving him Createaten?"


	4. Chapter 4

"A week?" there was a laugh Spock recognized as one humans used to emphasise a point, "Every four hours, every day for, wait, I'll check,"there was silence and Spock saw McCoy had his eyes closed and was shaking his head, "Every day since the day after he was admitted, just as I thought. I had thought they had started the day he arrived but they waited a whole day. The day he went missing they had just given it to him and they were on a break. They were giving him steadily increased doses and studying his reactions. Clearly they had left the door open and must have thought that one of the others had him secured. In the end he was on massive doses, nearly twice the recommended daily dose, every four to six hours to test their theories and see his reactions." There was a silence then the man calmly said, "May I ask if he really did suffer from irrational delusions of infallibility? When he first came I saw no sign to indicate that but it has been pointed out to me I am no specialist in that field. All I saw was a very tired man who just needed some sleep and maybe some time alone to regroup his thoughts. There is no way he should have been committed."

"I," McCoy looked at Spock, "I think a terrible error of judgement was made not only in the wording but in actually sending him there. I saw no indications of irrational delusions of infallibility. If anything he was, perhaps, just overly dedicated to his position as a search and rescue officer."

It is my firm belief that if Kirk, or any member of the Enterprise for that matter, had gone missing those first few days he was here he would somehow have made an effort to help. I do not want to think he was cognizant enough to know Kirk is missing although he was clearly aware of getting out and away from here. I just hope he finds peace out there as he got none here."

"Thanks and thanks for letting me, us know."

For a long time he just stood looking at the speaker then he looked at Spock and the Vulcan saw the anger and frustration in the blue eyes, "The bastards! The damned bastards! They've had him on Createatan all the time they've had him. They knew he was just exhausted and they've been pumping him full of it all this time. There was no reason for them to use that on him. Even a first year medical student could tell he just exhausted and needed rest. Hell, an exoskeletal specialist saw it. Damn them! Damn them!"

"You believe it could be Hannet?"

"No, Spock. No, I do not believe it could be him. It is him. He's trying to save Jim. He's doing what nature, nurture, pure instinct and training are making him do. On a few occasions I saw him fight against medication to help save another's life but those had been only for short periods. I do not want to think what he is putting his whole body through fighting Createatan this long."

Over the years Spock had seen the Doctor so certain only a few times before and each of those times had been when reason and logic had said what he believed was not possible yet it had been as the Doctor believed. He wanted to confront the Doctor on his line of thinking but saw he was too emotional to deal with any more. It was in how the Doctor stood with his arms crossed tightly across his chest and his eyes shut with his head bowed. Barely controlled rage radiated from him.

Spock turned from McCoy and looked at Uhura, "You said you know where they are, Lieutenant."

"I do not know where they are but I think I know where they will be. It's just a thing Colin, I mean Hannet taught me, something we would occasionally use. An old fashioned way the deaf used to communicate, a one-handed alphabet. When I saw how he first so dramatically shook his left hand I knew what he was going to do so I watched his left hand. I know to others it would appear he was just shaking his hand clear of the sleeve to examine the Captain, but it was our signal, our signal to each other."

"Uhura, that is a wild leap of logic for you. How would he know to do it?"

"If he thought there was even the most remotest of remote possibilities of us seeing it, he would do it. It was obvious that the sale was broadcast for outside bidders and he knew we were somewhere around." she looked at Spock, "I know it is not logical, but after seeing him there, after his signing, I know he will have the Captain alive and be waiting at the co-ordinates he gave for us but I am not sure if I got the co-ordinates right as I am not sure if one sign was as I read it."

Quickly Spock had the screen on, "Show me."

This time the three of them ignored all but the man's left hand. To most it would just seem he was flexing his fingers but there was a pattern to them. "It's coming up. There, that one."

The shot was replayed four times till Spock and Uhura agreed on the sign.

"Doctor, you have been unusually reticent. Do you not agree with what we have?"

"Oh, I agree with that. I was seeing what the blasted Createaten is doing to him. For now he is holding it all together but," he scrolled the tape back and stilled in on a frame where Hannet had his hands clinched into tight fists and his stance seemed extremely strained, "it is taking a toll" he turned away and Spock could tell he was seething with rage and fury, "Damn them! He just needed a week, ten days at the most, on his own. Couldn't they tell that? The vultures saw Jim's report as a way to experiment on him. Jim did write that damning report. Because of their meddling, his body has built up a dependence on it. Jim didn't listen. They clearly saw him as an ideal patient to test it on and Jim's report gave them a reason. What was it Jim stated, 'extremely delusional'. Hell, he did the only thing he could and was only exhausted. Damn them! Damn them!"

For a moment the Vulcan wanted to do nothing more than reassure his friend that he understood but he was aware of Lieutenant Uhura's presence, "Thank you for this, Miss Uhura, please return to the Bridge and have that area scanned for all small craft."

There was just a flicker in her eyes towards where McCoy stood with his hands gripping the back of the chair and his eyes closed, then understanding in them when she looked back at the First Officer, "Yes, Sir."

Slowly Vulcan walked over to stand behind the doctor, carefully placed his hands on McCoy's shoulders and felt the rage in his friend that he had expected, "Jim letting the authorities remove him also surprised me, Doctor, but, at the time, he was not thinking logically and I could see attempting to make him see logic would only serve to worsen his condition. You know Jim regretted it when he fully realized the reasoning behind Hannet's actions, but it was done, he had given them the authority. For him to get that authority rescinded would have taken at least twenty-three point seven standard days. We may still get them both back."

"But in what condition? Jim's clearly been drugged and abused and Hannet," the Doctor let out a sigh and took a deep breath,"If he is alive, I won't treat him if I know that they are going to get him back. I," the First Officer felt the Doctor pull himself together before he turned and looked at him very levelly, "Spock, I am quite sane and I know and fully understand what I am saying and I will let him die. No, I will assist him to die rather than let them have him again. How they have kept him is worse than a living death. If he somehow makes it to this ship alive I will kill him any way I have to before I let anybody take him and put him back there or in any medical research facility. With Jim, depending on how they were implanted and how long they have been implanted, it will take time to know how to locate and remove the controlling devices and, if there is no problem there, our only problem will be keeping him in SickBay long enough for him to fully recover."

The Vulcan helped the Doctor sit in the chair, "I understand this may be not be what you want to tell me, Doctor, but I need to know what condition you believe we will find the Captain in."

"We have to be ready for any one of four states: he could be fine despite the controlling devices, he could be severely traumatised and have injuries that were not apparent, the controlling devices may not be able to be removed, or he could be," for only a moment the Doctor hesitated, "dead."

"And what about Hannet? "

"Dammit, Spock, that stuff is killing him. Createaten works well on those with intermittent but severe delusional or emotional problems and is not meant to be used longer than three standard days nor on those who are merely fatigued. He's developed a dependence because they keep pumping it into him in massive doses. If he is not dead then he will either be in or entering a irreversible catatonic state, be in or entering a deep form of paranoia, or, and I doubt if even you could calculate the odds of it, he could somehow still be clinging to dear life by a gossamer thread of reality. The bastards! Createanten is a drug that has drastic reactions with other medications - can enhance to a lethal dosage the potency of another drug. I'll be able to do little for him apart from monitor him."

The intercom on his desk beeped, "Spock here."

"There is a small craft at those co-ordinates with a Romulan scout ship along side it. A Klingon ship has just left the area."


	5. Chapter 5

You are the Science Officer and my Second in Command

You are there to give answers to the questions that I ask

You stand there impassively not far from my right hand

Yet over the years you have let me see behind that mask.

* * *

You are my Superior Officer my Captain, you command

You at the conn are the chess master with us the pieces

You give full measure for what your rank does demand

And you know I am there for when the pressure increases.

* * *

People see you as different, cold and are filled with distrust

Others do not take the time to get to know the you I know

From when we met I knew getting to know you was a must

But I had not expected the way our relationship would grow.

* * *

I had avoided humans their half-truths and emotional displays

Illogical behavior, irrational doubts, and unwillingness to bend

But there was something about your manner, words, and ways

That made me believe and be unafraid to have you as my friend

* * *

Our differences mesh easily and we can think and act as one

At our core we are the same which is something others fail to see

We each became to the other what they said could not be done

For you have said I am a part of you and you are a big part of me.


	6. Chapter 6

Not sure who they were, and not wanting to think about it, Kirk took him to the cot. Hannet got on the cot and spread his legs so his feet were by the two bottom corners as though waiting to be shackled, Kirk closed his eyes. How long had he been shackled to a bed? What had been done to him that he would react like that? What had he let be done to this man? Kirk took a deep breath and covered him with a blanket. Only then, seeing him so vulnerable on a cot, did Kirk remember more about the incident leading up to him being removed from the Enterprise and acknowledged that McCoy and Spock had been right, he had needed only rest and not to be institutionalised. He had saved them, they had seen what he had done, they were better judges of what he needed. Kirk shook his head and closed his eyes to stop tears of anger at himself.

Clearly he remembered the meeting with Spock and McCoy in the Briefing Room when he told them he was sending Hannet to the medical facility.

"They'll use him like a disposable laboratory animal, Jim." Bones had almost begged him not to let Hannet off the Enterprise. "Think, Jim. Is your ego so hurt that only destroying another man will salve it? You sign that you give the authorities the right to use him for extensive, exhaustive and excessive unnecessary testing that they want to do for as long as they want. No answering to anybody for anything they do as you will have given then permission. You sign that you give them him."

"I must agree with the Doctor, Jim." Spock had looked at him. "You are not thinking of his wellbeing but reacting to your feelings of needing to show him he should not have gone against orders, your orders, and that he should not have done what you could not do. Think, Jim. You are being emotional. He is merely overly exhausted and physically spent. He needs a long period of rest, not committal to a place like that."

How dismissive he had been telling them he was the captain and his decision was made and was final.

Damn, Bones and Spock had be right, he had reacted out of his own frustrations and Hannet had paid for his bruised ego.

What had the authorities done to him? Why had they done what they had obviously done to him? Was there any of Officer Hannet left? And just what had Bones meant about excessive testing? Suddenly he stopped himself unedxpectedly realizing he did not want to know the answers.

Going back to the console he realized that the switch Hannet had flicked on was broadcasting a recording. Fiddling around he found the switch to put it on audio, "Enterprise, this is EZOVER. Now Lon and Lan have gone would appreciate removal. Enterprise, this is EZOVER. Now Lon and Lan have gone would appreciate removal. Enterprise, this is EZOVER. Now Lon and Lan have gone would appreciate removal."

Lon and Lan? Kirk looked back at Hannet. The man was crazy. There had only been the Klingons and Romulans. What had he been thinking? Had he been thinking? Who the hell were Lon and Lan? That the crew of Enterprise would hear the message was a certainty but would they….

Code. That was it. Some sort of code. Uhura and Spock would figure it out. Klingon, Lon. Romulan, Lan. He was letting the Enterprise know that they were in clear space and needed help. But how would the Enterprise know where to look for them? While the Enterprise would be able to track the signal there was no way of knowing how long it would take for them to arrive. They could be waiting for days and there did not appear to be much in the way of supplies for a long stay.


	7. Chapter 7

"Sir, we are getting a message from the ship the Romulans have just left."

"On audio."

"Enterprise, this is EZOVER. Now Lon and Lan have gone would appreciate removal. Enterprise, this is EZOVER. Now Lon and Lan have gone would appreciate removal. Enterprise, this is EZOVER. Now Lon and Lan have gone would appreciate removal."

"Craft EZOVER, this in the Enterprise. We are prepared for removal. I repeat, Craft EZOVER, this in the Enterprise. We are prepared for removal." Spock ignored the puzzled looks of the others on the bridge. "Mister Sulu, get a tractor beam on the craft that is the source of that transmission. Doctor McCoy, I believe you should be ready for,"

"Just let me know where and when they will be aboard."

For a moment the Vulcan turned but saw the determined look in the blue eyes and knew the Doctor would know he understood the reasoning. "I will inform you shortly."

Kirk had calmed down after the initial rush of emotions of hearing that voice. Somehow they had known. He had known Spock would not give up, but with no transponder and him trying not to let the Vulcan feel what he was experiencing how could. Damn, Hannet had let them know, somehow he had let them know as he had said they would know. He felt the craft start to move and looked out. His ship. A tractor beam. He wanted to, needed to talk to his friends, his crew. Frantically he thought of how to contact them, cursing the slaver for anaesthetizing his vocal cords, then sat down and tapped on the microphone.

To most people it would have sounded like static but Uhura heard a pattern, "Mr Spock, I am getting a signal from," she hesitated and smiled when she looked at him, "the Captain."

"On audio." Spock wanted to hear that voice again but all he initially heard was static then there was that pattern. The old Earth Morse Code. It would be slow but it was contact.

"Can fly craft to dock."

"Are you all right, Captain?"

"Drugs can not talk." there was a moment when the Vulcan did not move, "right now. Later. Temporary."

"How is Officer Hannet?"

"Not good. Needs McCoy."

"Are you sure you are up to piloting the craft into,"

"Voice gone not mind. Manage."

"Mister Sulu will give you co-ordinates and clearance. McCoy and I will be waiting."

"Missed,"

"Understood. Spock, Enterprise, out."

Kirk smiled to himself, of course Spock understood. He understood this human like nobody else. What his friend must have endured through the link. He had tried not to mentally call out to him in the agony of the punishment but knew he had on several occasions failed to maintain control and knew the Vulcan would have experienced some of what he was suffering. For his friend to have felt his humiliation, his pain, and not to have known where he was in this solar system must have been torment. They had a great deal to discuss.

A faint whimpering behind him made him pause as he was about to sit at the controls. He turned and saw Hannet was now curled in a tight fetal position shaking and whimpering.

"I know their type, I have seen their type at work. They'll use him. They'll treat him and use him like any other laboratory animal, Jim. You do not want to know how they will treat him. They will slowly destroy the man and leave a shell; a shell with the reflexes they want to test. They will do things to him I do not want to even think about and hide it all in the name of science. But you go right on ahead and follow procedure, Captain. You go on and follow what the regulations say about this without questioning it, Sir. You go right on ahead and let your own bruised ego destroy him simply because he did what you were unable to do at the time. You file that report and you reduce him to a life you do not want to know about, a life where he is no longer a sentient being, just something to test new theories on. He may scream, cry, and beg with them to stop but they will keep going as their needs override his. But don't let that stop you, Captain. He did what you couldn't do and for that he has to be punished. Well, Captain, Sir, handing him to them will more than punish him. It will destroy him." McCoy's words seemed to taunt him as he walked over to the cot.

Gently he placed a hand on Hannet's shoulder only to have him recoil, trying to curl even tighter into the fetal position, pleading , "No, no more, no more, please, no more, no more, please no more. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please." in a terrified, pleading and yet quiet voice. Kirk felt sick wondering how many times his officer had done that only to be ignored. As he reached out to readjust the blanket he stopped. No. He tried not to even think it possible as he reached out and pushed up the sleeves that had hidden Hannet's arms. For a moment he just stood as he saw the wounds around both wrists. He suddenly realized he did not want to know what had been done to this officer; he did not want to know what his actions had caused. Bone had been right, he did now want to know how they would have treated him.

Before he turned away Kirk quickly placed his hand on Hannet's forehead brushing back his hair and trying to give some reassurance he was not alone and was safe. How he wanted to vocalize the words that he said in his mind, how he wished Hannet was telepathic, "I'm so sorry. You rest. Know you are safe. I'm not going to give you back to them. Orders be damned. They won't get you again. I won't let you be hurt again."


	8. Chapter 8

When the Docking Bay was pressurized it had not surprised Kirk that both McCoy and Spock were there first with other bridge crew behind them. He tried to brush them both aside, pointing at Hannet. McCoy paused only long enough to look in his mouth and nod as he said, "No damage, obviously anaesthetized." then hurried to the tightly curled form on the cot. Spock had momentarily paused to look at him, to hold him by the shoulders, and Kirk saw the love and understanding he had always found when he looked at Spock despite the Vulcan's pronouncements that he had no emotions.

"Ohmigawd. Spock, I'm gonna need some help. Scotty has the Conn. Chekov, take the Captain to SickBay. Jim, go with him. We will take care of Hannet. Go, now, Jim."

In all his years of practising medicine Leonard McCoy had never seen a patient so traumatized by medical treatment and he knew he was going to need the Vulcan's strength to help get him to Sick Bay. No, he had the Captain go there. There was a table in the Science Lab.

"We'll take him to the Science Lab since Jim will be in SickBay."

"Wise decision, Doctor. I shall carry him." The Vulcan steeled himself for the pain he thought he would feel but what he experienced was worse. Instead of waves of pain it was just a steady blinding pain that consumed the man he held. There had been a repeated pain-filled pleading scared voice crying, "No more. Please stop." almost non-stop. Spock set him back down on the cot and gathered himself, regaining control.

"Spock, are you alright? What is it?" McCoy could not remember a time when the Vulcan had just lifted anybody and then put them back down. Could not remember seeing him so shaken.

"I,I will be fine, Doctor. I found I was not fully ready for the magnitude of his pain. I will be able to carry him now." There was still the all-consuming pain as before and the screams of the man's inner pain still cried in Spock's mind out but Spock summoned all his Vulcan training and shielded himself from it long enough to get Hannet onto the table in the Science Lab.

Once they had him on the table McCoy wondered how the medical teams at the new medical station would have treated him. Years ago he had spent time on a medical and scientific base and had the experience of seeing what happened when they were 'given' a patient with what Hannet had and with the written authority to treat them as they wanted. He would have been a welcome gift. A fit healthy adult male who just needed some rest. The doctors were more scientists than doctors and would have used him, especially after the report Jim had written, knowing they had been given the authority to use him as they wanted to.

Spock started to pull back the blanket covering the officer then stopped.

"What is it, Spock? Let me,"


	9. Chapter 9

The Vulcan gripped the doctor's wrists, "Allow me to take care of him for you, Doctor."

"He is my patient and," McCoy pulled one hand free and pulled back the blanket and saw what the Vulcan had seen and shut his eyes.

"It appears they did not have him sufficiently anaesthetised enough during some of their testing, Doctor. Unless it was part of their studies."

Only the most medically knowledgeable would have known what some of the many, many wounds covering his body would mean but nobody could mistake what the extensive bruising to his ankles and wrists would have been caused by.

Very gently the Vulcan started to roll the officer onto his side so McCoy could clear the blanket from under him but stopped when a weak voice said, "Stop, please stop. No more. No more. Please stop. Please."

When McCoy looked to see why Spock had not finished rolling him he was taken aback by the clearly controlled fury he saw in the dark eyes then saw how clenched the long fingers were around the blanket. "Spock, you can go but I must see the extent of the damage. I don't want to think what was done to him, and I sure don't want to think about what they would have done to him. But if I am to help him I have to see."

"I, I apologise for my hesitation, Doctor McCoy," Spock looked at him, "I have seldom seen such abuse done in the name of science. Whatever sort of being did or allowed this to be done to him was neither a scientist nor a doctor."

Together they cleared the blanket from him and in silence wiped his entire body with antiseptic and antibacterial lotions, pausing when he would moan or plea for them to stop.

"Jim was wrong to have let him go."

"No, I was wrong for signing that damning paper. If I had not signed it,"

"You would have infuriated Jim."

"And at the time that was the last thing he really needed. I just could not get him to listen." McCoy shook his head, "I spent a year on one of those stations and saw what was done in the name of science and medicine. I should have made Jim realize that he was letting his bruised ego kill,."

"Doctor, what is done we cannot change. He has clearly fought against the ravages of withdrawal to get the Captain back. We must help him now. Surely you could give him some,"

"That is the problem, Spock. Them using that blasted Createaten means I can't use anything on him without causing him more pain, if that is possible. There is a violent reaction to any intravenous, intramuscular, orally or anally administered medications. And any fluids can trigger a violent reaction. That was initially thought to be the only problem using it, that it reacts adversely with all other known medications, and once administered for more than two days it reacts with all other liquids. Some patients could tolerate fifty millilitres of purified water taken over a standard hour period, just fifty millilitres in an hour. Hardly enough for normal bodily functions."

McCoy sat down and looked up at Spock, "While a short course of Createaten is beneficial in some instances and patients recover from the mildest addictions I've never heard of anybody recovering from a true addiction to Createaten. Createaten is a most expensive drug on the black market so addiction is rare and those who are addicted are addicted to a weekly injection of about a tenth of what they have been pumping into him daily. It is now at least ten days since his last injection and the levels in all his systems of Createaten are well over those you would expect to find in the combined tests from no less than forty-five regular patients on a limited dosage."

The Vulcan watched as the doctor put his head in his hands and shook his head, "My god, Spock, they weren't experimenting with him, they were slowly, systematically, sadistically killing him and no doubt recording the whole thing in the belief of making some sort of medical or scientific study on it that would get them known."

Momentarily Spock looked down at Hannet then back at the doctor and saw the frustration and unbridled fury in the slump of the shoulder, he knew how the doctor loathed not being able to help any being in need of care. "How were those who had had a brief treatment using Createaten treated?"

McCoy had tried to smile as he looked at Spock, "This, this is totally different, Spock. Two words make a vast difference. This was not brief treatment. I did read of one case where a patient had been on it, in minimal doses, for one standard month and with continual monitoring, continual tactile contact, continual physical stimulation, continual slow fluid infusion with the bodily outflow equal to the infused level, and the body continually wiped with cool damp cloths lived about a year. That patient lived, if you want to call it life, being in full time care with all that help as he was left with minimal brain function in that his heart beat, he breathed, he looked at a person if they used his name, he could drink on his own, and he could indicate yes and no. But he only lived a year and was in constant pain."

"Doctor, Officer Hannet is still alive and he was subjected to it longer and clearly without proper care."

McCoy looked up and the Science Officer saw a bit of life come back into the blue eyes, "I, I hate to ask you this with him like that but could you carry him to the bed in that room? If he has any awareness left he might react to being on an examination table. I do not need monitors at the moment to know how he is. "

It took the Vulcan a moment to prepare himself as he knew that the officer was in great pain and he carefully erected the mental barriers so that the physical contact with that pain would not assault his mind. Hannet was lighter than Spock had thought. He did not want to believe that the authorities had starved him but there was no other obvious reason for the man to be, "Doctor, how does Createaten effect the patient's metabolism?"

"Throws it completely out but settles once the correct dosage is found. I know, the weight loss. With the high doses they were giving him I am amazed he has any muscle. He has been working on adrenalin for over a week. Maybe it is somehow counter balancing the need to maintain muscle tissue. But, Spock I fail to see,"

The Vulcan steeped his fingers and looked at McCoy and still saw a hint of the doctor's usual determination to snatch a patient back from the brink or at least help the patient fight, "Would his adrenalin have to do with him looking for Jim?"

"Dammit Spock, you know that adrenalin pours into the body when you are in a heightened state of alertness and activity as with looking for Jim but,"

The two men looked at each other and Spock gave a nod, "His uncertainty about the Captain's location and then keeping him safe would have caused his adrenalin levels to rise."

"And that would somehow suppress the effect of the Createaten. Now, now we just have to find a way to keep him in that state till the effects of Createaten subside enough for him to manage."

"He was in that state thinking Jim was missing and if we,"

"Yes Yes, if he thought Jim was still in danger he would," when the doctor looked at him Spock felt better as this was the McCoy he knew had almost been swallowed by despair, he would fight it. We will just have to keep up the pretence of the Captain being missing."

"You do realize that Jim will want to see him?" Spock nodded to himself, McCoy was back, not thinking through his solutions, "You must know that,"


	10. Chapter 10

"In medical matters I outrank him, Spock. If it will help a patient I will do what I have to. And I think we both know this crew is more of a family and they would be able to maintain a pretence to help another crew member."

For a long time the Vulcan looked into the blue eyes then nodded, "True and you would have to order Jim to do something he would find most difficult."

"If it will help Hannet I would do it,"

"And how would you ban Jim from seeing him?"

Now McCoy shook his head, "Up till that asinine question I agreed with your idea. How will keeping Jim from him," the reasoning behind Spock's words came to him as he looked into the dark eyes, "He fought it for Jim this long and if he thinks Jim is still in danger he will continue to fight. He will continue to fight as long as he does not see Jim?"

"Correct. Think of what he did that made Jim agree to hand him over to the authorities. It was an instinctive reaction, on his part, to the needs of another. He did what we were unable to do, what logic told me could not be done. You were correct, there was, is, something that is a part of his being that made him do it and that something made him go against Jim. It is more than training. It is an innate thing in him along with his basic instincts. It is something that compels him to disregard rules and regulations, practices and procedures if he thinks and feels an action is correct. As was stated earlier, he took his loyalty to this ship and its crew to the extreme because it is a part of his nature. However, at the time Jim was furious at everybody and about the situation, at his role in it, at not being the one to have taken the rather unorthodox action Hannet took, and Hannet bore the brunt of Jim's irrational reaction. Hannet took an unorthodox action in this situation as well because he knew one of the crew, his crew, was in danger. Last time it had been the two of us on the derelict ship in danger."

McCoy had nodded, "He does not know Jim is safe. In his drugged state he might think he is still part of this crew. If we keep Jim away from him and he believes Jim is still in danger he will keep fighting it."

"We will need special security to keep Jim from him."

"You know Jim will want to see him, to be with him."

The two friends looked across the shaking form at each other, "We will just have come up with a way to keep them apart and not let Hannet know Jim is safe."

"I will tell Jim of what he has to be, Doctor. He will not like it but I am sure he will see the wisdom in letting Hannet believe he is still in danger in order to encourage him to fight the Createaten. With your permission I will tell him that he may sit with Hannet while Hannet is sleeping but that Hannet may not see him."

"Thanks, Spock. And yes, that will be good for both of them. I was not looking forward to trying to keep Jim from him." McCoy shook his head, "Although his vocal cords have been anaesthetized he still is able to clearly express his disapproval."

"I understand that the anaesthesia is only temporary." McCoy nodded, "so I best tell him what is to be done before he can vocalize his objection."

'You go do that and I will arrange to get Hannet moved and settled in Sickbay and work out a roster of medical staff to help with his treatment."

Jim had been pacing in SickBay when the gurney with Hannet went by him and only Spock gripping his arm stopped him following it. The Vulcan led him to a computer terminal, pushed him into a chair and quickly connected an old-fashioned manual keyboard, "I know your vocal cords are temporarily anaesthetized, Jim, and this will be a way to communicate, slow but a way to communicate. No." he gripped his Captain's hands as they reached for the keys, "First I want, I need you to listen to me, I need you to hear what I say, before you say anything. McCoy and I believe Hannet is only still alive as he believes you are still in danger. His belief that you are still at risk is what is enabling him to fight the ravages of all the Createaten that has been used on him over the last two years. If he were to know you were safe he would stop fighting and die. You will be allowed to sit with him in a position where he will not be able to see you until your vocal cords recover and then allowed to see him only when he is sleeping. He is not to know you are safe until Doctor McCoy tells you. There is still the possibility he could still die as,"

Roughly James T Kirk jerked his hands free and quickly typed, "NO! HE CAN'T DIE! He is only tired, like last time. I should have listened then. He needs rest. He just needs rest. He can't die, Spock. I will not send him back this time. He just needs rest. He can't die. McCoy can give him something to,"

Quickly Spock reached out and took hold of Jim's hands. The way Jim had used capital letters for emphasis, for where he would have all but shouted, oddly pleased Spock for it showed that despite his ordeal Jim's mind was fully functioning all on levels. It would be easier for him, for them to explain things to him knowing he could and would react this way till his voice returned.

As the Vulcan held his hands still Kirk looked up in annoyance at his friend, "Jim, listen to me. Just listen and hear, really hear, what I am saying. Those we handed him over to exceeded the dosages and period of use of a drug called Createaten. They misused it on him, they gave him excessive doses for much longer than necessary. It is a unique drug that, if allowed to build up in the body as it has in his, there are severe reactions with any other medications thus limiting treatment. There is nothing McCoy can give him without endangering him further. Those we handed him over to obviously knew what they were doing, knew what they wanted to do, there are indications they used it in conjunction with what can only be called unwarranted experimentation on a subject that was merely physically at the point of total collapse."

In those dark eyes Kirk saw there was more and jerked his hands free, "WHAT?"

"Later, Jim. For now,"

"NO! NOW! WHAT?"

The Vulcan again gripped his friend's hands and crouched to look at him levelly, "When McCoy and I changed his attire we discovered, or rather his body revealed evidence, that they had clearly been using him as the subject while they carried out unwarranted experimental work. Most likely from when we handed him over to them. We will not know for certain until he is stronger and McCoy can assess the damage, but it is extensive. When we handed,"

Suddenly Kirk pulled his hands clear, angrily shook his head, and typed, "NO! I, NOT WE, I! I! ME! I! I HANDED HIM OVER, NOT US, ME! ME! I DID THIS TO HIM! I HANDED HIM OVER. I LET THEM TAKE HIM. I LET THEM DO THIS TO HIM. I did not listen to you or Bones. MY report let them do it to him. You tried to warn me, I was angry. I DID THIS TO HIM! I LET IT THEM DO IT TO HIM. I DID THIS TO HIM. I, I DID," for a moment the hands were still.


	11. Chapter 11

When he looked up the Vulcan saw what he had sensed radiating from when he had gripped Kirk's hands before. The fear, self-loathing, self-blame, and pain was clear just as the tears that were tracking down his friend's face, "Jim, what happened to him was not your,"

Kirk shook his head and angrily turned back to the keyboard, "NO! I LET THEM TAKE HIM AND DO IT TO HIM! Bones told me what they might do but I did not care. You tried to stop me. I was furious at the time at myself and I just wanted him off the ship so I did not have to face how weak I had been. I LET THEM DO IT TO HIM! I did not protect my crew. I could have prevented it. He came for me; he saved me after I had handed him over to them. I did nothing to protect him. I GAVE THEM THE PERMISSION AND AUTHORITY TO DO THAT TO HIM! I LET THEM, I LET THEM, I LET THEM," Spock saw the shoulders shaking before he pulled his friend up and into an embrace, feeling the strong arms encircle him as the sobs came. The Vulcan knew it was more than just for what the scientists had done to Hannet, it was more than the guilt his human friend was feeling. His friend was purging all the pain and fear of his torment as a captive as well from the depth of his being. His human friend was releasing the fear of a life that so easily might have been. The arms around him tightened as the sobbing started to cause Jim to almost be breathless. It was a good sign, in a human, to free such negative and painful emotions.

McCoy started to enter then, after just giving the Vulcan a nod, left as aware as the Vulcan that this was a release for their friend of all that had happened to him while a captive. "You did nothing wrong, Jim. They did it to him. Them, not you. You were not to know what they would do. You did nothing wrong. All that we can do now is help him keep fighting it. McCoy believes he has been fighting it for ten days."

The Vulcan First Officer felt his captain and friend hug him tighter, bury his face harder against him and knew how much he needed to be held and reassured during this catharsis, "Jim, despite all they did to him, all the drug is doing to him, he somehow knew what to do to not only get to you but also how to get you and keep you safe till we could find you. We had no idea of where to look for you until we happened to see a broadcast of sale of slaves. He signed the co-ordinates of where he was taking you. Lieutenant Uhura realized he was signing the co-ordinates. We would not have arrived there in time to have prevented a different outcome." slowly, rhythmically, Spock rubbed his friend's back as the shaking and sobs continued. "You will be proud to hear about, the way Hannet got you. It was a most impressive and ingenious bluff."

Kirk's mind went over what had happened in those eight days before Hannet's arrival and clung to the reassuring body as he unashamedly cried before the only being in the universe he would allow himself to so freely cry before. He was pleased he only really remembered three of those eight days. The other five were lost in the drugs they had used on him transporting him to Tanop. The slaver had said he had not been raped, that he was being kept for his new master to be the first to mount him. The slaver had said he had kept him drugged during the whole of the transport system. To have been treated like nothing more than an object, to be made to do the things he had done for the amusement of another. He clung tighter to the firmness of his friend as he felt the emotions building up in him and seeking release. A deep and uncontrollable shaking possessed him as his very core seemed to be crying out all the humiliation, terror, and pain.

Two strong hands held him tighter and one started to rub his back. "It is over, Jim. You are safe now." How the words echoed in a small part of his mind.

Now. How terrified he had been while on display and seeing the excited looks the Tanopians who had examined him had. He tightened his hold on his friend as the shame and fear came back. He had known that whoever bought him would treat him even worse than then slaver had for he had not wanted to damage the merchandise. The slaver had treated him as a prize animal, had made him feel like a show animal. He had seen how the other slaves were being used and abused by their new owners. All the curses he had called done on Hannet for treating him as he had came back to him. All the promises he had silently made about what he would do to Hannet if he ever had the chance. All the time Hannet had been playing a part while that damned drug tortured him in ways far worse than the slaver had tortured him. All those times he had called out the name of this precious friend who held him now and helped alleviate the horror.

Spock felt the sobbing gradually stop and yet Kirk still clung to him as though reassuring himself of this all being real. All he could do was hold him in a reassuring embrace and wait. His friend hugged him a bit longer then pushed away from him, giving him that lop-sided grin he had feared he would never see again.

Kirk quickly typed, "See him now?"

"I believe that is why McCoy came. You must remember he is in no way to know you are safe."

Reluctantly Kirk had nodded. He understood the reasoning but disliked knowing it meant more agony for his officer.

In the craft the light had been dimmer and the true extent of that the Createatan had done was only visible now and Kirk found he had to stop and look away as Spock led him toward the bed. He had handed to the authorities a muscular, fit, and confident but exhausted officer who needed rest and this emaciated shell of a being was what they had reduced him to. On Tanop and in the craft he had been wearing clothing that hid his frame well, making him look more solid than he was. Kirk closed his eyes and shook his head. He did not want to think what his handing him over to the authorities had let them do.

He fiercely shook his head again with his eyes closed as he remembered glaring at the man and silently saying, "May you live a life of hellish pain for what you've done, you bloody bastard." His officer had already been living that life for two years, because of him. . He had signed the form that sent him to that hell.

He felt the long fingered hand tighten its grip on his arm and he nodded and opened his eyes. Spock was looking at him with that quiet steady reassurance he always found there. Slowly he finished his walk to the bed and looked down at his officer. There was so much he would say to this man when he was well and when the anaesthetic wore off. The consequence of a sudden cessation of taking the drug was plainly visible and Kirk wondered how long his officer could suffer the agony. Gently he gently placed his hand on the side of Hannet's face and Hannet seemed to recoil and Kirk heard pain and fear in the voice that said, "No more. Please stop. Please, no more. Please." He looked up at his Chief Medical Officer.

"For two years he must have said that. He's fought it this long, Jim. He is fighting it as he does not know you are safe. Remember how it was not till he actually saw and talked with Scott and the others that he believed they were safe?"

Kirk nodded. He had seen how close to the end of his tether Hannet had been when he brought them back and how he had fought the sedation McCoy had given him till Scotty and the three others had been to see and talk with him, till he had physically touched each one of them in a safe environment.

James Kirk knew Hannet's last awareness of him was after the Romulans had left, so he would not know for sure that he was safe. Hannet had not physically touched him since they came aboard the Enterprise. MvcCoy said that not letting Hannet know he was safe was the only way to make him fight and to do that he could not let Hannet know he was there. It was cruel but.

As he looked down at Hannet the reason his initial cruelty had been almost immediately obvious to McCoy and Spock but was something he only just accepted. Hannet was making him safe. He was removing their control. He was in no way sadistically torturing him. He had removed the things that had been inserted in his rectum and nostrils that gave them control, he had removed the controlling devise embedded on the roof of his mouth, he had removed them without anaesthesia as there was none. He had been cruel to be kind, to stop their control, to stop the torture of that,

"Okay, now I want to have a better look at you." McCoy gripped his arm and he reluctantly stood, "You can come back later but I want to check you all over."

All over. Slowly Kirk started to follow them then stopped and, before Spock or McCoy could stop him, returned to the bed and pulled back the sheet covering Hannet and quickly closed his eyes. Two strong hands gripped his upper arms and held him steady as his legs threatened to give from under him. He had seen first-hand bodies of beings tortured to death and some starved to death but what he saw before him was worse. It seemed impossible that Hannet was still alive as that body was far too thin, there were so many scars, and yet the whimpering let Kirk know he was alive. McCoy quickly grabbed him and turned him away, "Now, Captain."


	12. Chapter 12

McCoy's examination had been thorough and it had not surprised Kirk to see Spock standing in the room. "Those two things he removed from your nose were in peripheral contact with your brain, the one on the roof of your mouth was in direct contact with your brain, and the one from your rectum was sited to stimulate the main nerve nodules in the lower body. They could ensure the pain was spread from your head down as well as radiating throughout the lower abdominal area. Their insertion would have been simple, with the exception of the one in your mouth, but their removal must have been agony as the bonding tissue was clearly becoming a part of your body."

Kirk had nodded and looked at McCoy as there was more, he saw it in how McCoy had looked at Spock before looking back at him, "They were inserted in a manner that was to have lasted the rest of your life, the bonding tissue was a type used for permanent use and rapid fusion. It had clearly started to form the permanent bond. If he had not removed them as he did, when he did, you would have had them the rest of your life." for a moment Kirk looked at Spock and saw a confirming nod as McCoy continued,"That type of bonding tissue would have made their detection and removal close to impossible in another twelve to twenty-four hours. He obviously had some difficulty yet also, somehow, had the skill to do it without damage. I wonder if he realized that their removal saved your career."

It had obviously been something McCoy had not told Spock for he was clearly surprised as both eyebrows raised, "Explain, Doctor."

McCoy realized he had both of them looking at him and looked at the floor for a moment before looking at Spock, "With them in there, sited as they were, anytime Jim went by or through anything with the right frequency he would be incapacitated by excruciating pain. If exposed to the right frequency for long enough it would kill him."

"Frequency?"

"That's just it. It is difficult to tell. For all we know a sonic toothbrush could have triggered them. There would have been no way of protecting Jim from them other than putting him in isolation."

"Removal?"

McCoy had sighed, "Oh, they could have been removed but not without causing major damage to the brain and nervous system which would have left him unfit for duty and command would have beyond him."

Cautiously Spock reached out and touched Hannet's face, fingers slowly finding their meld places, "He saved the Captain from them and what they did to him." just for a moment the Vulcan closed his eyes and quickly pulled his hand back as though burned.

McCoy laid a hand on the Vulcan's arm, "You okay?"

"His pain is far more intense, much more all-consuming than that which I encountered with the Horta." he looked away from his two friends and seemed to pull himself together before he looked back at the doctor, "I I am quite okay, Doctor, thank you. What they did to him was considerably worse than either of us imagined, Doctor. But, we are correct," he looked at Kirk and tried, in his own way, to smile and saw the shadow of a smile in response, "in assuming he believes Jim is still not safe. There was a distinct underlying sense of having to keep Jim safe till he is back on the ship, of lasting till he gets Jim back to the ship. The pain seems to fill every part of him, is trying to claim his last hold on reality and sanity, but he is holding on to the thought that he has to protect Jim till the Enterprise arrives. He still thinks of the Enterprise as home and Jim," he looked at his Captain and friend and Kirk saw the smile he rarely showed aside from to him, "it is Jim, not Captain Kirk, who he must protect."

Kirk pointed to McCoy's computer and it only took Spock a few moments to connect a manual keyboard. Kirk sat and typed, "Thanks. Was unconscious when implants put in. Been in eight days when he removed them. Hurt like hell, blacked out. I thought he was just torturing me at first. He work in Sickbay? He medically trained?"

"I looked at his records, Jim, and he was an officer trained and highly skilled in search and rescue but used mainly in engineering. He had some medical training."

"Some?"

"The standard first aid training we all had plus the emergency training they give the search and rescue crew. He rostered on for a few months in SickBay when we were short-staffed. He was damn good." McCoy put a hand on Kirk's shoulder, "He would have looked at you, examined you, known what to look for and what to do and had to figure out how to do it only he had to do it without the proper equipment. It would have hurt like hell. Wonder what he used to sterilize the wounds?"

"He, he apologised for hurting me. Used citrus fruit and salt water." The Captain remembered the citrus taste and aroma as well as the strange pain in his rectum. That pain had been like when McCoy had given him an enema, the officer had been sterilizing the wound.

Kirk closed his eyes for a moment and thought how the officer had examined him, how he had silently cursed his officer those two times as he believed it to be a form of sadistic torture, how he had damned him, when all the time he had been, He took a deep breath and shook his head. Hannet had even said "Act part." All the time he had been acting.

Acting. For a moment the idea seemed too preposterous, too improbable but Kirk had to know as he knew what he had seen. Was that weapon part of the act? It had been a real trade. He looked at Spock before typing, "You said a bluff, the weapon?"

Spock nodded and both Kirk and McCoy heard admiration in his voice, "He had modified the phaser to be able to do one very large stunning sonic sweep. It would have made the weapon totally inoperable after the one use. All the internal workings would have been so damaged, so fused, that the weapon would be totally useless. It would have been so badly damaged that should it fall into enemy hands it posed no risk to the Federation as all internal workings would be so fused together as to be indistinguishable. It was reputed to be impossible to make such a weapon from a standard issue phaser but he somehow did so. Clearly modifying the weapon to do it takes not only skill and manual dexterity but a full understanding of the function of each part in the phaser and how it related to the weapon. He would have known he had the one chance to get you."

Just for a moment Kirk saw his Vulcan friend look through the door and at the officer curled on the biobed and give his head a near human shake in disbelief, "He was bluffing. After that demonstration, he had nothing but the facade he created. To do what he did he clearly retained some of his core, some of who he is."

A facade, an act. No wonder he had been in such a hurry to leave, to remove the control implants. At the time Kirk had been sure he was mad, now he realized he was fighting to hold onto some semblance of reality against the onslaught of the drug. What else was it he had said, what was it he was doing, something about being lost. Kirk closed his eyes and shook his head as he remembered, as he again heard it in his mind,"I'm losing me." Unconsciously Kirk bit his bottom lit. Hannet knew he was losing his hold on reality. He knew he was lost. Trying to be calm Kirk typed, "They know he is missing?"

"Yes."

"He knew about me?" It was infuriating to Kirk to have to type when he had so many questions in his head, so many plans he needed to discuss.

"Yes."

Kirk looked up at the tone in Spock's voice and saw it on his Vulcan friend's face as well as McCoy's. He had seen it several times now, that look they exchanged. They were hiding something else from him.


	13. Chapter 13

"What?" There was a momentary glance between the First Officer and the Doctor that the Captain saw, "WHAT?"

"We were told that he had a reaction to hearing you were missing. Nothing specific just that he had reacted. As dosed up as he must have been with Createaten he somehow got through their security system and, well he, there was a need for an escape vessel,"

"He steal one?"

"Dammit, he long-term borrowed a craft."

"STOLE!?"

Spock crouched down and looked at his friend, "Jim, the person McCoy spoke with at the facility said Hannet had reacted to hearing your name but they thought he was too drugged to really know what was going on. Despite all that they thought, all that they had done to him, he managed to not only get through their supposedly inescapable security system which would have surprised them considering the condition he was in. He took a craft but he left a note authorizing deductions from his pay to cover the craft. He was cognizant enough to know what he was doing, Jim. Clearly he had heard where you were lost and he reacted in the only way he could, he went out looking for you. By leaving the authorization note he did not, therefore, steal the craft."

For a few moments Kirk just looked into the dark eyes, seeing the concern there as well as the truth and acceptance. There was also some admiration there for what Hannet had done. How ready he had been to tell them not to give him semantics but he saw that was not the case. Spock was correct. In that moment Kirk saw what had had always known, that this friend would follow whatever he decided to do.

"Spock, do not tell them he is here. I have to think. There has to be a way."

McCoy put a hand on Kirk's shoulder, "I don't know what you two are plotting but we have a craft to return and they will want to know all about Hannet. They have the right to take him off the,"

"NO! NO! HE IS NOT GOING BACK!"

"Jim, we have the craft,"

"DESTROY IT."

"And how do we explain your return? You know we can't keep him aboard as they have the,"

'NO! NO! HE STAYS! I was wrong before. HE IS NOT GOING BACK!"

"Jim," McCoy's voice was soft and low, "Jim, you know that under regulations we have to. You signed him off the ship and into their,

"NO! Don't fight me on this, Bones. Help me think. Must think! He stays. HE STAYS! HE STAYS! HE STAYS! HE STAYS! HE STAYS! HE STAYS! HE STAYS! HE STAYS!" Kirk was clearly getting agitated, tears were starting to track down his face. He was unaware of the hand nearing his shoulder but his two friends had looked at one another and McCoy nodded as he saw Spock quickly place his hand on Jim's shoulder and catch his unconscious Captain.

"Thank you, Spock," McCoy said as the Vulcan lifted Kirk and carried him to a bed, "Jim was getting aggravated and agitated by all of this and could have started massive bleeding from where the four control devices were. I'll give him something else to keep him asleep for about four hours."

"Four hours should be sufficient, Doctor. If you will excuse me I have a few matters to attend to and will return by then."

Spock had started to leave but McCoy stepped in front of him, "Okay, what are you up to? You can't be thinking of destroying the craft for no reason. I know that look, Mister. I know you are up to something."


	14. Chapter 14

"Really Doctor?"

Roughly McCoy grabbed Spock's arm and took him into the small office, "Don't give me that! I've watched you these last few days, I've seen how being unable to do anything to help has been eating away at you. Now it is obvious your Vulcan mind has come up with something that has to do with helping Jim and Hannet and I want in on it. What is it? How can I help?"

For a long time dark eyes looked into blue eyes and then the Vulcan nodded, "You are correct, I have come up with something that will help Jim but I cannot involve you, Doctor."

"Cannot involve me?" the anger died as quickly as it had flared as he studied Spock. The Vulcan was in that stance of his that meant he was about to take actions that may not be seen as complying with Starfleet regulations. Annoyance yet understanding took over the Doctor's emotions, "That translates, in my language, to you are about to do something stupid. Having knowledge of it means, technically, I am already involved so you may as well tell me what it is."

"So long as you do not know the specifics you are not involved. Doctor, I cannot,"

"Dammit, Spock! Let me help. There must be some way I can help."

For a long time the Vulcan Science Officer looked at the human doctor and knew he cared as much about this man as he did about Jim, in a different way but with the same illogical emotions. The three of them were one and to not allow McCoy to help would lessen what they had, "I would appreciate your assistance. I must file a report to Starfleet to let them know of the Captain's return but without mentioning Hannet or the craft. I also do not wish them to know what was done to the Captain while there. As you are aware I am not skilled at deception and find it difficult to compose a report that is in error."

"Spock, if they don't see the sales they won't know how badly he had been mistreated."

"While it is doubtful that they would normally have seen it as we are meant to be monitoring what is going on in other areas and not the daily sales. However, it is in our records and they will be called for."

McCoy rocked on his heels, "Correct. So if we just,"

"Doctor, we cannot falsify what we have and a deletion would be noticed."

"Of course it would, you pointy-eared computer. But we could replace what we have if we had something else that was recorded at the same time, right?" McCoy put a hand on the Vulcan's shoulder, "I'm assuming that you would know how to insert the replacement and remove what we have in a way that could not be detected."

The Vulcan held back the reply that well before first year at StarfleetAcademy he had mastered how to replace recorded footage as a way of misdirection rather than outright deception and in an undetectable manner. "You are correct, Doctor, but you are also forgetting that we do not have any other transmissions for that period."

"But if we did, you could."

In all the years he had known the Doctor, Spock had only seen him as he was then when he had done things, or been a part of thing done, that could best be termed resourceful, "Am I correct in inferring you have secured a recording made on one of the other planets?"

McCoy smiled at the almost excited tone in Spock's voice and rocked slightly on his heels, "Not just of one of the other planets, Spock, but from Rakotow itself, the news that was being broadcast at the exact time of the sale. It mentions exported stock but does not say slaves." McCoy nodded as he saw a Vulcan eyebrow almost vanish under a straight dark fringe, "It just has reports of the inbound and outbound ships, and news relevant to this system."

"Might I enquire how this was,"

McCoy grinned as he saw the relief in the Vulcan's eyes and he put a hand on a thin shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze, "Let's just say that Scotty said it might be handy to have on hand. He is a skilled trader and knows how to work the bars."

Spock could see the relief and laughter in the blue eyes looking at him as he was momentarily confused about the expression work the bars and merely nodded as he realized what it would mean since obviously he achieved what he wanted, "When might I expect," the Vulcan stopped as McCoy held out a disc. "I would like to thank Mr Scott for his,"

"Perhaps later, Spock." McCoy patted the shoulder and removed his hand, "Right now you have some changes to make and Scotty has the granddaddy of all hangovers to get over."

McCoy saw the other quizzical eyebrow raise, "Are you telling me Mr Scott is unfit for duty because of inebriation?"

"Yes, but you have to."

The look on Spock's face silenced him and he wondered if he really had just seen a flash of cunning but it was not reflected in the Vulcan's barritone voice, "You have not shown on his records that he is inebriated, have you? On this occasion it need not be recorded."

McCoy smiled back, more for himself of having spotted that flash of cunning than at what Spock might have come up with, "I had waited to find out if I should enter it as he is meant to be on duty. Something has to be entered."

"Do you not believe he might be suffering from a strain of debilitating but non-fatal gastroenteritis following his shore-leave? A malady that is not uncommon and quite acceptable as an exemption from duty as long as it does not impact on the efficient running of the ship, and I do not believe the absence of Mr Scott for a thirty-six hour period will impact on the efficient running of the ship, do you, Doctor?"

McCoy shook his head, the Vulcan could always surprise him, "I was going to say twenty-four but he will appreciate the extra twelve. He said he had to go into eight bars before he found somebody willing to help and had to not only pay for it but also drink, with the person, some very potent stuff."

Spock turned, went to the door and looked one more time at Hannet, "I will go make my report, check the bridge, and return."

"I'm not expecting any change with Hannet. Jim will need the sleep."

"You will,"

"I'm not leaving them alone. We'll be here." For a moment McCoy looked at his two sleeping patients and then back at the Vulcan, "I do not want them to have any other visitors apart from yourself just yet."

When he walked on the bridge the Vulcan was aware of the way the others either looked directly at him or just glanced to acknowledge his presence yet each had that same expression that asked the same question. Each of them was asking about the Captain in their own way.


	15. Chapter 15

On the Bridge Spock was stopped by the Communications officer who just looked at him. "Officer Hannet and Captain Kirk are in SickBay. The Captain is sleeping and should be able to return to active duty in six standard days. Doctor McCoy is working on a roster involving the full medical complement to assist in Officer Hannet's treatment. He is to have no visitors till Doctor McCoy approves."

Dark brown eyes, so full of understanding, held his, "I would like to assist in his treatment when I am off-duty."

The Vulcan nodded as he had expected as much from her, "I am sure Doctor McCoy would welcome any extra assistance as Officer Hannet, at present, requires intensive and extensive personal care at all times." for a moment longer he looked at her while he decided on how to phrase what he wanted to say. "Ngoya," she looked up at him somewhat startled as he had seldom used her name on the bridge or looked at her as he was, "I am sorry I did not act on your behalf when the facility contacted you about him. I,"

She had reached out and briefly given his hand a squeeze, "You had the ship and the Captain to think about."

"I shall see that you are free to go to Sickbay at any time should either you feel the need or be required. I,"

Again she squeezed his hand and for a moment they looked into each others eyes, "Some friends become a part of your being. The Captain is to you what he is to me. Thank you for understanding that." She felt a squeeze back as the Vulcan nodded and she knew they really did understand each other.

"I will be in Sickbay should I be needed." He had changed back to the Vulcan in less than a heartbeat.

"Yes, Sir." she nodded as he turned to the turbolift, smiling to herself that all was as it should be.

James Kirk was still sleeping when Spock walked back into Sick Bay after having removed from the Enterprise's records the scene of him being sold and replaced it with the news item Mr Scott had obtained for them. McCoy had just nodded as he walked in and kept working at his computer terminal.

So many times the Vulcan remembered standing over his sleeping friend like this. So many times his captain and friend had been brought back from missions and had to stay in SickBay. Missions. This had not been a mission as such and he had almost lost this precious being. How close they had come to losing him in more than one way.

Having reassured himself that Jim was comfortable and in a deep sleep, Spock walked over to the bed Hannet was on. The man was still curled in a tight fetal position and the indicators verified that, while he was in severe pain, his breathing and heart rate, though slow and laboured, were steady. He was still fighting the Createatan. As he watched the occasional twitching Spock wondered if it was right to let him suffer further. McCoy had turned off the pain register's alarm but the light was flashing indicating it was at the top of its register. There was no medication McCoy could give him and he was too traumatized for a meld. Recollections of a time spent with a herbalist on Vulcan came back to him and her remembered a Vulcan potion he could easily make that was undetectable and would free Hannet for that torment. It would not take long to make a small vile of the drug, to give him release.


	16. Chapter 16

Spock closed his eyes and shook his head as to do it would ease Hannet's immediate pain but it would make him the same as much a criminal as the people who had done this to Hannet in the first,

"Don't even think about it, Spock." a hand briefly rested on his shoulder. "I've thought of easing his pain in the only two ways I know how. Nearly did it, too." he heard the self-loathing in the doctor's voice and turned to face him. The doctor was looking down at the sleeping officer, "I came out to the bed with sufficient Susmed in a hypo. Nobody would've known. He would not be in pain now and would not have to endure the pain that is ahead for him."

"But you did not carry out your intention, Doctor." Spock had not looked away from McCoy as there had been such incredible guilt in the voice. Susmed was a drug used only in medical procedures to momentarily increase the potency of drugs already administered, untraceable. It would have instantly killed Hannet.

"No, but all that stopped me was remembering him, just for a moment, as he had been before, fighting the massive sedative I had given him till he saw, for himself that Scotty and the others were safe, till he talked with them and physically touched them." now the doctor looked at Spock, "Remembering how he went to sleep while Scotty was hugging him. I know it is not logical but I know he will keep on fighting till he sees that Jim is safe, till he sees him in his uniform, till he sees him here, till he touches him in the safety of Sickbay."

From years of having known the Doctor, Spock detected the hesitation and looked at his friend, "You still suspect that the drug might kill him. I will assist in his treatment."

"Spock, there is," in stunned silence the doctor watched as the Vulcan First Officer pulled the cover off Hannet and slowly, systematically, started to wipe the tightly curled body with a damp cloth in long, rhythmic stokes. He rushed and got a damp cloth and mirrored what Spock was doing. "You don't,"

"I believe you said he would greatly benefit from not only continual monitoring, but also almost continual tactile contact, continual physical stimulation, continual fluid infusion with the bodily outflow at least equal to the infused level, and his body needs to be continually wiped with cool damp cloths to keep the core temperature down as well as hydrate it due to the reaction of the internal organs to fluids. I further believe you and Nurse Chapel can arrange to do the monitoring, the tactile contact, and fluid infusion with the help of other medical staff. I shall arrange to come and assist when time permits. Lieutenant Uhura has also expressed a desire to be of assistance. The sooner the treatment commences to sooner there should be results."

For a moment the Chief Medical Officer just watched the Vulcan First Officer as he tended Officer Hannet. These moments were rare, the moments when Spock let his human side show. "Spock, you will be in,"

"I am aware of his pain, Doctor, but I have shielded myself. It is tolerable."

For a moment the Doctor put a hand on Spock's hand, making him look at him, "You don't have to do this, Spock. I could get."

"There you are incorrect, Doctor. I do have to do this for him."

Just for a moment the Doctor looked at the Vulcan as there had been a hint of guilt in his voice, "You don't have the exclusive on feeling you owe him for saving Jim, you know."

"It is more than that." the Vulcan picked up a fresh damp cloth and kept wiping Hannet's back, from shoulder to pelvis in long strokes, "Two years ago I did not help him, I did not stop Jim from signing him off the Enterprise. It was within my powers to do so. Jim was not thinking rationally and even though I had my suspicions as to what might be done to him I did not stop Jim. Two years ago my inability to sway Jim to reconsider, or to wait until he was in control of his emotions, caused Hannet to be handed over to the ones who did this to him. I was unable to help him then, I was unable to prevent him from being taken and having this happen, this be done to him, so if I can help him now I will."

They had finished wiping the entire tightly curled body and were getting more cool water and fresh cloths when intercom buzzed and McCoy answered it, "Sickbay. McCoy here."

"Is Mr Spock there?" it was Uhura and Spock wondered why she asked if he were here when she knew he would be.

"Spock here."

"I wish to report a, a dereliction of duty on my part, Mr Spock."


	17. Chapter 17

"Explain."

"I used ship-wide communications for a non-regulation announcement to all of the ship except Sickbay."

In all the years he had known the Communications Officer he had known her to be thoroughly professional and this was totally out of character. He saw the concern on McCoy's face as well, "What announcement?"

"I, I told the crew what you said about Captain Kirk and Officer Hannet."

The Vulcan First Officer was aware that he arched an eyebrow and saw McCoy's grin, "That does not constitute dereliction of duty."

"Perhaps that aspect does not but," the blue eyes met and held the dark brown eyes as they both had heard the hesitation, "I mentioned that Doctor McCoy might appreciate some extra assistance with treating Officer Hannet. I," another silence, "Sir, I have had requests from crew all over the ship wanting to assist Doctor McCoy when they are off duty. All they need to know is if they can help, how they can help, and when they can help."

"Quite commendable, Lieutenant, but," McCoy saw a twinkle of mischief in the dark eyes and smiled to himself, the Vulcan could make any crew member squirm, "I am still waiting to hear about the alleged dereliction of duty you seemed so anxious to inform me of earlier."

"Sir, you told me he was to have no visitors and I,"

"Did your announcement indicate the possibility of visitation?"

"No, but I told them of Doctor McCoy needing assistance, I told you,"

"What you just told me, Lieutenant, was of your taking what you believed to be the appropriate action to convey to the entire crew, with the exception of those in Sickbay, the situation as regards Officer Hannet. I agree with your actions. I believe if you replay your transmission you will hear you did not mention anything that remotely resembled any dereliction of duty. You did not use the words visitor, visitation, or any word that could be mistaken by the crew to imply a social session with Officer Hannet or the Captain. You stated that the crew want to assist which does not, in itself, imply a visit so they would be assistants and not visitors. I assume you will notify the crew once Doctor McCoy has decided how they can best assist in the care of Officer Hannet?"

"Yes, of course I will Sir, but I,"

This time there was no mistaking the twinkle the dark eyes as McCoy watched Spock nod at him, "I believe what you have done, Lieutenant, is take the only logical action you felt you could take at the time and you were correct in that action. You will be contacting the crew again once Doctor McCoy has decided how much extra assistance he will require and when, is that correct?"

"Yes, Sir, and thank you."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Spock out."

Once the communications was cut McCoy crossed his arms over his chest, rocked on his heels and shhok his head as he looked at Spock, "You can't tell me you did not enjoy teasing her like that. I have to hand it to you, Spock, you can sure turn things around in a person's head."

"I do not do so unless necessary, Doctor."

"Yes, I know that, but in this case you took great delight in letting her think it over first, didn't you?"

"Lieutenant Uhura has a very active and alert mind and I admit I find pleasure in challenging her to think on different levels." Spock looked back over at the figure on the medical bed, "I would imagine she will want to spend considerable time with Officer Hannet as they are clearly more than just shipmates." for only an instant McCoy saw the Vulcan facade drop and knew Spock was thinking of times when he had stood beside the Captain's bed, "They are good friends. I regret that I did not listen to her concern when she got no responses to her communications to him at that place."

"You weren't to know what was happening. None of us,"


	18. Chapter 18

"Doctor, Lieutenant Uhura knew something was wrong. She asked me on eight different occasions to look into it and I, I simply explained to her how it was necessary for her to concentrate on her work and let him get the best care." Spock looked at the Doctor, "I am aware of the many times she covertly tried to contact him and that the standard reply she received was not from him but the doctors who said he was being taken care of and that he no longer needed her concern. She kept telling me that something was very wrong, that he would not just cut her off like that. She was insistent that he would keep in contact with her." The Vulcan looked at his Captain and shook his head, "I was basing their relationship on how I had seen Jim relate with women. How he engages on a personal level for a long time then as soon as another interest comes along he tends to ignore them. Granted some are on some planets we may never visit again but there are some on the ship. I was wrong to do so."

"Well, Jim is a bit of a tomcat." McCoy saw an eyebrow arch, "He does enjoy the company of women a great deal. What Uhura and Hannet have is a deep, a very deep friendship. That is entirely different in its human's emotions."

Spock nodded, "So I now realize. It was only the last contact she received that was different. She came to me and told me that the doctors had contacted her and told her if she heard from him she was to notify them immediately and asked me if I thought it unusual. I told her that as he had not contacted her after such a long period of time he had shown he did not have the feelings she thought he had and that it was unlikely he would contact her. I did not allow for the fact that something might have stopped him from contacting her. I did not fully understand the depth of their friendship. ." The Vulcan looked away for a moment then back at the Doctor, "I did not relate to what she would be feeling till I reflected on how I was when Jim was missing. It angers me that to start with they had prevented her from contacting him and then, when he left to find Jim, they wanted her to betray that friendship."

Uhura walked in, paused and looked first at McCoy then at the Vulcan, "I have a fifteen minute break and thought I would come see him."

"Uhura, I am not sure if," McCoy started.

"I will arrange for your station to be manned for the next thirty-six hours so you can assist Doctor McCoy with the roster as well as seeing to his welfare, and getting some much needed sleep."

"Thank you, Sir." she started toward the room Officer Hannet was in when a long-fingered hand lightly gripped her upper arm and she turned to look back at the First Officer mainly in surprise as he rarely touched others.

"You must be prepared as he was very badly ill-treated physically as well as mentally. He has shown no signs of knowing where he is. We are not telling him that the Captain is safe as that seems to be what is maintaining his hold on sanity and life."

In the dark eyes Uhura saw the concern and she nodded, "I just want to be with him for a few moments. He may not know I am there but I will know I am."

Spock nodded and released her arm. He knew only too well what she had said. So many times he had been beside a bed here in Sickbay when Jim was in a coma or unconscious. It was enough to be there.

She looked at Doctor McCoy, "I'll be back to help you with a roster."

From the doorway to the isolation room the two officers watched her approach the bed and saw how the nurses who were with him moved so she could get closer. There was just the briefest of hesitations as she neared the bed and saw the extent of him injuries then they saw her take his hand and gently kiss his forehead before placing her free hand on the side of his face as she stood beside the bed.

"Apart from the kiss that is so like somebody else I know when their friend is in here. The approach, the hesitation, and the contact." McCoy glanced at Spock, "I have seen you hesitate longer at times. Can only imagine what you both feel and think at such times. "

"Doctor,"


	19. Chapter 19

McCoy looked at his friend, "Spock, I know the spiel about Vulcans not having any emotions but,"

"But at the moment, Doctor, those emotions are in conflict." Spock's eyes met and held the gaze of McCoy and the doctor saw that the Vulcan mask was not fully engaged and there was a blend of concern and compassion about the face, "Reason and logic are nullified - it is a deep cauldron of reasoning and emotions that seems to fill the body and mind and I believe you would find that each individual experiences that moment differently yet the physical need and reaction would be similar. At the moment I can fully identify with the emotions the Lieutenant is experiencing as those I have towards Jim."

In the short silence that followed much was silently said between the two as they continued to look at one another then McCoy coughed and spoke, "I'll arrange it so Jim can recover in his quarters, save you having to make the trip from your quarters to here to visit. I'll have a monitor in his quarters that I can check on him with."

Thank you, Doctor. He will appreciate that as will I."

They both looked back over at where Uhura stood and saw her gently place Hannet's hand back under the light blanket that covered him, kiss her index and middle fingers before pressing them to Hannet's lips, then turned and walked over to them, looking first at Spock, "You know he would not have stopped looking for the Captain nor finding a way to get him home." Spock gave her a nod as he was aware of the truth in what she said.

She looked at McCoy, "I will be back with a rough of the roster so that we can get more people to help him fully come back to us."

After she had gone Spock looked again at Hannet then at McCoy, "Do you believe we will get him to, as Uhura stated, fully come back to us?"

The answer was in the almost immediate change in McCoy's stance, some optimism yet also a touch of defeat. "I really do not know, Spock. There is a limit to what any body, even Vulcan, can take. There is a limit to what the mind can take. You combine those two over the period of time they were doing that do him." McCoy closed his eyes and shook his head then looked back up at Spock, "A part of me would like him to just slip away from us and there is another part of me that wants him to come back to us, to fully come back to us but that part also knows what a long, excruciatingly long and painful way he has to come back to us."

Over the next nineteen days the crew of the Enterprise had been involved in caring for Officer Hannet and McCoy had kept a wary eye on Captain Kirk every time he came in to ensure he did not talk to Hannet. Truth was that he just did not know how Hannet would react to seeing Kirk. It had only been two days ago that he had given the first real indication of knowing where he was and then yesterday he had recognised both himself and Spock. Spock had been in at his usual time to wipe down Hannet now that Hannet was uncurled yet still preferring to sleep on his side, McCoy had come in the discuss Hannet's progress when Hannet woke and looked at Spock with total recognition.

"Mr Spock, where?"

"You are on the Enterprise. You need to rest some more."

"Doctor McCoy?" McCoy had moved to stand where Hannet could see him,

Both senior officers saw the confusion on his face and saw him look around in near panic, "The Captain? Where's the Captain? I, I had the Captain. I have to go back and get him. I have to go." Hannet tried to sit up, "I have to go. I have to," A Vulcan hand reached out and Hannet lapsed back to sleep.

McCoy shook his head as he bowed it so the Vulcan would not see his anger at himself, his shame, his doubt in his ability and decision, "I was wrong again with him. I was so wrong. All the readings went way too high. I could have spared him this. I was so wrong. He,"

"Doctor McCoy." Spock had rarely seen the doctor look to totally dejected about a patient and knew he had to get him out of the well of self-doubt and blame he was starting to slide into

McCoy just kept his head down and shook it in self-loathing, "I should have used the Susmed. I should have,"

"Leonard, Leonard look at me," the voice was softer than usual and McCoy raised his head, surprised that the Vulcan was using his given name, "You are perhaps the most caring and dedicated doctor alive. You know what is best for your patients despite what convention stipulates or even dictates. Your actions with treating Hannet have been and are correct. He will fight as he still believes Jim is not here, that Jim is in danger. You are correct in your treatment and your reasoning behind them. We must be more diligent now he is no longer catatonic. We must be careful when we speak about the Captain and be more aware when he is here."

For a moment McCoy just stood looking into the dark eyes that were looking deep into him and felt so much understanding and compassion coming from the Vulcan it was almost physical. Slowly he nodded, "If he still believes the Captain is missing he will continue to fight. I think it best we not tell Jim about this as you know he would want to be here more often for when he next has a conscious moment."

Spock returned the nod, "Agreed. I will leave the decision as to when Jim knows of his awareness, fleeting thought it was, of where he is, who we were, and that he had the Captain, to you. I also agree it was wise not to tell him that the Captain is safe."

A smile possessed the doctor's lips and Spock felt relief when McCoy said, "We won't tell Jim about this either."

"This?"

McCoy saw an eyebrow start to arch, "About you agreeing with me on two matters at one time. That shock would be too much for him. We'll just wait."


	20. Chapter 20

Four days later there had been little noticeable change as far as Captain Kirk could tell although McCoy had said the readings were slowly, so very slowly, getting better. It had been so difficult the last three days to go in and not be able to talk to him now that his vocal cords were working. There was so much he had to say, so much he had to explain, and so much he had to be forgiven for. When he had come down this time to see him it had not been at one of his usual times and he had seen McCoy sleeping in his office as he had for so many nights now. He was sure Spock would be on the bridge. There was only the younger medical team in the other room going over some new studies as there was not much for them to do and they knew where McCoy was should anything happen.

McCoy had told him that on five occasions he had seen Hannet open his eyes but not seem to know where he was. "He has shown no major reaction at all, Jim, but the monitors showed he was conscious and slightly aware. By that I mean they spiked when he saw the young ones but evened a bit when he saw me. He will cower from the others but seems to understand that I will not hurt him. His conscious moments have been just that. They have lasted perhaps one to five standard minutes and I did not tell you about them as they were so fleeting and I am not sure he fully knew where he was or what was happening."

Kirk shook his head, McCoy had to be wrong. If he had reacted to seeing the younger medical team it could mean he associated them with where he had been so abused and seeing McCoy had reassured him. That showed an awareness. That showed his mind was not totally damaged. That gave Kirk hope for his tortured officer.

With the Enterprise patrolling a safe area and knowing that Sulu would notify him immediately if there should be anything at all unusual Spock had gone down to Sickbay after checking his Captain's quarters and finding them empty. He has seen a look on Jim's face he had seen often enough to know what it was only this time it had seemed to reflect something deeper in Jim.

It was as he has suspected. Jim was just standing inside Sickbay just looking at Officer Hannet. It was clear from the registers that there had been a miniscule change in his condition but nothing substantial. Hannet was still laying on his side but did not appear to be as tightly curled. Perhaps he was slightly more relaxed, maybe even feeling safer. When he looked back at Kirk he saw the blame in the hazel eyes. There had to be a way to get Jim to realize that he could not have forseen what would happen to Hannet, that there was no way he was responsible for what had happened. Since having seen Hannet he himself had had moments of blaming himself for not stopping Jim but, at the time, he believed they were sending Hannet to a facility where he would get help, never thought that he would be used as he had been.

A long-fingered hand rested on his shoulder, "I surmised you would be here when you were not in your quarters. You should be sleeping. Tomorrow we arrive at Starfleet Headquarters and you have to sign him over to the medical team there and give a full report to,"

"Thought I heard a voice that don't belong down here at this time." McCoy looked at them then at the diagnostic panel, "I have his medical transfer just about ready. This time I know the team who will take care of him. Good people."

"Unless I am greatly mistaken, Doctor, you are not in favour of this action. You have, in fact, left finishing his transfer this long in the very human tendency of hoping of a highly unlikely event to happen, in this instance a very dramatic improvement in his condition which would enable him to remain on the Enterprise."

"Spock, he is my patient and I know that he will be well cared for there. I have not finished his release forms as I wanted to make sure that when he is admitted they have the latest readings. I have done,"

"What you have done, Doctor, is more than any other medical practitioner, perhaps even more than Vulcan healers, could do for him. You did so not only out of duty but something more."

"The same something that had you coming down a few times each night to just stand there and watch him as though willing him to keep breathing." McCoy saw an eyebrow raised and smiled, "Its okay, Spock. Both you and Jim were very secretive nocturnal visitors. You stayed longer but Jim would sit and hold his hand."

"I, I don't think I'll be able to sign his papers." Kirk looked from Hannet to Spock to McCoy and back at Hannet. "It would be like a second betrayal by me of him and I can't do that to him.".

"He's resting now so why don't we go and get a coffee? Spock's right, I need to get away for a moment. The nurses will track me down if I am needed."

They turned to leave as two of the younger medical team moved up to the bed and stopped at a terrified, soft, cry from the bed. "Mutt, no, Captain, Captain Kirk. Captain please, not again, not again, not again. Make them stop. Please stop. No more. No more. Please, please make them stop"

All three turned and saw the haunted look in the eyes looking at them as Hannet struggled to sit up and reach out. Kirk bolted to the bed first pulling Hannet to him as the officer made a vain attempt of clinging to him. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm here. I'm right here. I won't leave you. You just rest. You just rest. I won't leave you."

Hannet hardly had any strength but Kirk knew what strength there was came from fear and pain, the same fear and pain in the voice that kept saying, "Captain, please, not again, not again, please not again. No more. Make them stop. Please make them stop. Please, no more. Please, no more. Please, no more. Make them stop. Please make them stop."

Mutt?" Spock half-whispered and Kirk looked up at him and nodded. "He called you that?"

"He used it rather than my name. Helped when the Klingons and Romulans came aboard. Used it to protect me. To keep in character." Words Hannet had said came back to Kirk as he rubbed the back of his officer who was quietly sobbing and clinging to him like a terrified child. "It was like he said, being in a part. He did not use my name or rank. He was staying in his role."

For a moment there was just the sobs of Hannet as he kept repeating, "Stop. Please make them stop. Make them stop." and Kirk just clung to him and rubbed his back. All Kirk could think of was trying to calm and reassure Hannet that nobody, nobody was going to hurt him again. He did not want to think of how many times he must have begged those, those sadists to stop, only to be ignored.

McCoy and Spock seemed lost in their private thoughts as they looked at how their friend and Captain was comforting Hannet the way one did a frightened child. McCoy knew what he had to do, knew that Jim would, in time, understand that he was thinking of what Hannet needed. It would hurt him as well as he had known how Hannet would have fought, how Hannet would have clawed his way back to stay on the ship but there were those blasted regulations, there were the reports. He would give Kirk a few more minutes with Hannet now as both men needed this. When he first looked at the Vulcan beside him he wondered if that calculating mind had thought of all the time it would take Hannet to get back to even the minimal level of fitness to care for himself, then he saw it. About those dark eyes, such compassion for Hannet and concern about Jim

Spock knew he would have to help Jim accept what Hannet needed, what Hannet would require. At the moment he knew his friend was guilt-ridden about what had happened to Hannet and felt he also owed him for saving him from what would have been his life as a slave. Everything about how Jim was holding Hannet, the way he was looking at him, his tone of voice showed his emotional conflict. It was going to be difficult to get Jim to release him physically let alone release him from the ship. It would be difficult but it could be done. Jim would know it was not only the human thing to do but also the only logical thing to do.


	21. Chapter 21

Slowly McCoy walked forward, "I'll just," he held a small cylinder under Hannet's nose and removed it as soon as he saw its contents take effect with Hannet going limp in Kirk's arms as sleep claimed him, "It will help him have a bit of a nap. Later I will give him something stronger so that he is sleeping when you hand him over tomorrow."

Once he felt Hannet relax Kirk looked up at his two friends and wondered how they would accept what he was going to say. After he had helped carefully reposition Hannet back on the bed Kirk turned, still holding Hannet's hand in his, and looked at his two friends for a moment hoping they would understand, "I, I am not signing his release forms. He stays on the ship."

"Jim, be realistic. We are not,"

"Going to turn him over to strangers again, Doctor. Perhaps I was in error earlier when I questioned your not having his medical transfer papers ready. You were waiting for some indication of an improvement in his condition before you took action. Did you not just get your improvement in his condition? He is aware that the Captain is with him. He is aware that the Captain is holding him. He is aware of that reality. Is that not an improvement?"

"Spock," just for a moment McCoy was riled and flared, "I would hardly call that reaction an improvement in his condition." then the reality of what Spock was not saying dawned on him, "But I believe you are right that he is more aware and that could indicate that we can expect an improvement."

"I believe that we can leave him with the Captain long enough for us to," there was something in Spock's voice that McCoy knew meant he was unsure of how to proceed.

"Yes. Jim," Kirk looked briefly up at McCoy, "you stay where you are and Spock and I will get you a coffee and something to eat as it is best you stay with him in case he wakes up. Till he is fully satisfied you are safe it might be an idea if you just stay with him."

"Yes, Scotty has the bridge and knows I'm here."

Once away from Sickbay McCoy stopped and when the Vulcan turned to see why the human had stopped Spock saw a smile on the doctor's face that was reflected in his eyes, "Gotta hand it to you. Spock. You talk a good talk about not having emotions but what you just did," he paused as he saw an eyebrow all but vanish under the Vulcan's fringe.

"All I did, Doctor, was follow your lead and what we saw earlier. It is clear that Jim needs time to come to terms with what has happened to him and what is to happen to Officer Hannet. I wish to thank you for assisting me with finding a way to leave them together."

"I think we both saw the same thing, Spock. Jim is going to take some time to come to terms with what happened to him let alone with what happened to Hannet and his part in that."

"He is not the only one who had part in what," guilt was in the baritone and for a moment McCoy placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, leaving his hand on the shoulder till the First Officer looked at him and he saw the regret on his friend's face.

"We have been through that, Spock. We all bear some responsibility but Jim knows it was his call and feels furious at himself. You know about a week after we had left him Jim got himself good and drunk because he realized that it was his ego that got in the way and that he really should not have signed him into that facility but that it was too late to get him back. He had little idea what really happen. None of us knew for sure."

"You said you had worked on,"

"I know and I know what happened at the medical center I was at but I was hoping it was not the same in all of them. Unfortunately that one was. I should have,"

This time it was Spock who interrupted but it was his words and not physical contact that reassured the older man, "Doctor McCoy, you did the best you could for him. I was present when you tried to talk Jim out of it. Nobody could have put forth a better case but Jim was too emotional to listen, to hear."

Just for a moment McCoy looked at Spock and was not sure if he really wanted to know the Vulcan's opinion but knew it would help to know it so he would know how best to proceed with Jim. He rocked on his heels for a moment and looked his friend in the eyes, "Do you think he is too emotional now?"

There was a silence of understanding between them for a moment then Spock gave a slight nod, "I believe the Captain is an emotional human but that most times his emotionalism is tempered by reason. On this occasion I believe he is in an emotional bind with his reasoning. He is aware of what needs to be done on a logical level but his emotionalism is foremost at the moment as a result of what he survived, of what Hannet did for him, and of what he had been largely responsible for being done to Hannet. He is having difficulty equating the two. Just being alone with Hannet now is letting him have that time to let his logic come to the fore."

"He only has until tomorrow as he will have to sign him off the ship tomorrow."

While nothing about McCoy's stance had changed Spock heard in his voice total resignation. As he studied the man Spock realized it was something he understood only too well as he also had an awareness of what signing Hannet off the ship could do to Kirk.

"I believe there is a rarely used regulation that you may use to ensure that does not happen, Doctor. Is there not a possibility that while he is possibly in need of the form treatment he would best receive at a Starbase medical facility that there could be some pathogen he contracted while away from the last Federation medical facility that could put those at another facility at risk? You did, if memory serves, have all of those who were in contact with him when he returned to the ship in isolation and some needed vaccination. Am I in error?"

It was as though what the Vulcan had said lifted a very heavy load from him and McCoy shook his head as he smiled, "Why you cunning fox you."

"Doctor, I do not see how you can compare me to a,"

"Blast it, Spock. You know what I mean."

An eyebrow started to arch and the hint of a smile touched the lips as McCoy looked at his tall friend, "I was merely remembering that there is a little-used regulation you might use. Also, if memory serves, there is also one regulation that is still legitimate I am sure Jim will remember in time. It states simply that no commander of any Federation ship may sign off their ship any officer who has been exposed to conditions totally alien to any that fall within set parameters until that officer shows they have totally readjusted to acceptable behaviour as per Federation standards." Dark eyes locked with blue eyes and McCoy nodded, "I believe, Doctor, that Hannet is far from being even moderately readjusted."

"Think we better get back there with a snack for Jim otherwise he might think we are up to something."

"I agree although I doubt if Jim is in any mental state to suspect us. I believe at the moment his whole attention will be on Hannet."

Time had no meaning to Kirk as he sat on the bed holding Hannet's hand. There was so much he had to say to him when he was fully aware. He hoped that Hannet would forgive him for all that had been done to him. Hannet would know that he was the one who had sent him to that hell just as he knew it was Hannet who had saved him from a hell that would only end in death.

Cautiously he reached out and wiped Hannet's forehead with a moist cloth, "You just rest. We have a great deal to talk about when you are better."

When you are better. The words seemed to mock him as they echoed in his mind after he said them. There was a touch of fear as he realized there was a possibility that Hannet might never be better. He had seen the man let go of reality after he had set the transmission of that message. He had seen the man's physical state. He had heard what McCoy said had largely caused it. He had caused all that. He had caused that and now had the gall to think he would get better.

McCoy and Spock walked back into Sickbay with Spock carrying a light snack for him and McCoy carrying a cup of coffee but they stopped when they saw Kirk leaning with both hands on the bed, eyes closed, and shaking his head. Both looked at the registers that had not changed much since they left.

"Jim," McCoy stared as he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and felt the tremors of internal crying, "Jim, what can I do for you?'

"Tell me he will get better. Can you do that, Bones?" Kirk turned and looked at him and both McCoy and Spock saw the anguish and self-blame in them that they heard in the voice, "Can you tell me he will get better and mean it?

**A/N- Real life got in the way again. Thanks for hanging in there. Hope you still find it interesting. About two more chapters to go. Comments/reviews most welcome.**


	22. Chapter 22

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"Go with Doctor McCoy, Jim. I will sit with him." Spock reached out and helped Kirk stand and McCoy put the plate he had been carrying down and took hold of Kirk's arm. When Kirk looked back at him Spock nodded, "I will contact you should he awaken and ask for you."

Kirk shook his head, "Contact me when he awakens. I need to be here for him. I need to help him get better."

"I will contact you, Jim. Now go."

McCoy led his friend and Captain to his quarters, shocked how Kirk offered no resistance and, after sitting him down on his bed, got him a cup of coffee. When Kirk took the cup he just sat and looked at it as though it held some magic answer. "He, he isn't going to get better, is he? I, I will have to sign him off the ship. I will have to leave him, have to move on. I am a starship captain. I should know that I have to make such decisions. I have an obligation to Starfleet to only have a totally fit crew. I know all that but I cannot do it, Bones. It would be betraying his trust in me again. I first handed him over to those monsters and now I am expected to move on and forget what my life would have been if he."

"James Kirk, you listen to me." when Kirk kept looking in his coffee McCoy took a step forward and looked down at his Captain's bowed head. "You listen to me James T. Kirk. In case you have not noticed you are not the only one who is feeling like this will be a second act of total betrayal."

Kirk suddenly looked up, "You said will be. **No!** He is not leaving this ship."

"You think either Spock or I really want this? We both feel guilty about not stopping you two years ago and now we realize we can do nothing for him and will have to hand him over to a medical facility where he will get the proper care he needs." McCoy saw a flicker of comprehension in the hazel eyes looking at him. "We are lucky that he is still alive, that he has not lost all his mental abilities and functions. We are so damned lucky he found you and was able to fight that blasted Createaten for so long, to get you safe and back here. We are lucky but he has paid the price for us. We have to leave him where he will get better treatment. We, by regulations, have to leave him, Jim. I know it, Spock knows it, and you know you know it. It hurts like hell but we have to. He needs specialist care we are not equipped to give him."

"I'll want to see where he goes, who will be taking care of him. I'll be the one to tell him. He should hear it from me. I am his commanding officer." Kirk had kept looking at McCoy and while he did not show it on the outside McCoy smiled to himself as Captain James Kirk was back.

"I rather expected that and I would not have it any other way, Captain."

Together they walked into the room and found Spock still sitting by the bed. When they entered he had looked up and at Kirk first and then McCoy before looking back at Kirk. It was there, he was there. Whatever McCoy had said had reached that part of Jim that Jim had shut away and pulled him back to them.

"Captain." Spock stood and let Kirk walk up to the bed.

"You know?"

Although Kirk had not looked at him Spock knew he was asking him. "I suspected that the good doctor would try to help you face what must happen. What I said before remains true. We will not hand him over to people, to specialists, that McCoy knows nothing about. Three of the medical team aboard the ship who have helped care for him have voluntarily stated they will seek a temporary rotation to be with him for at least a standard year and will keep up notified as to his condition on a regular basis."

James Kirk had looked at his First Officer and his Chief Medical Officer, his two closest friends and knew they understood how difficult this was for him. He knew they would help however they could but that they both had been thinking of what was best for Officer Hannet. "You two go and make whatever arrangements have to be made. I will stay here. If he wakes and is aware enough I will explain it to him. I will also make a message for him for later should he be too confused or not wake before he leaves."

When they just stood looking at him and at each other he smiled up at them, "Thank you both for all you have done. Now, you two gentlemen have you orders. I'll stay here while you go take care of business."

**FIN**

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**_Thanks for reading and following this. A friend asked me to put the stories I had written back in the 1980's for her mother who was a terminal patient but a Trekker on this site. I did one a weekend for the 30 weeks she was in care. Hope you like them._**


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